Breathing music

I feel, i absorb, i am.
thats what i do.
i cannot tell you because i dont have the words,
i cannot speak because they will not let me speak..
the feelings and pictures that i cannot communicate,
it builds up in my head like the water level rising
and i wish that i could communicate thru thoughts..

i dont really care im drowning,
i dont really care about the consequences..

im living too fast,
im terrified,
im oblivious..

if you could see thru my eyes it would make sense
but we are both too selfish..
i think im insane
i am winston smith
stop doubting my sanity
stop talking to me
i am separated from my body
imagining myself years from now
stop it, you are killing me!
the words i want to scream are hanging in the air
just beyond my reach..