Scatters

A blob of blue paint landed on the window, interrupting my conversation with Dad, I thought that Yves could be more careful when he was painting.
We were in the kitchen, and I had bought some paint which weren't the Leyland's homebrand (as they stink even though they are £10 cheaper) but had got the proper Dulux one.
Yves was painting the road side, about 200metres away. But in dreams, you don't wonder about such things when the paint travels that far and reaches the window which is on a hill, it is all fine and normal.
Yves turned up and was all joyous, and satisfied, it was really nice to see him in that state of mind, he had been painting about half a metre high of the "bas-cote" from the church halfway up to the house! In a very pretty dark blue. It was very impressive. He said that brush he bought was amazing to paint with! And he showed us this strange broomstick with a rubber brush on the end.
But now, who was going to clean the window?

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Straight into the tube. I am sitting near a friend, and there are lots of young children around me, around the ages of 3 and 6. The atmosphere was a bit odd; I was looking at the children, and an older woman, in a severe outfit (headmistress kind of outfit) was looking after them. She started talking about her faith in catholism and talk about sex. She became very imposing and stern in her monologue, she was speaking aloud so everyone could hear her, and was really against sex and pleasure and everything to do with it.
The children were looking at her with discretely scared eyes. There was a 4 year old girl sitting near me, with brown hair, very pretty, with a little boy. She looked at me, like saying "I am here, am I going insane, where is my soul and mind, will I be molded into one like this old severe woman?"
She was very alive, and her soul was not yet compromised by the education the adults around her were going to give her.
The older woman was going on and on with her tone, and I was feeling very uncomfortable as she was now looking at me whilst doing her sermon. Like if she knew...
As a protective gesture, I brought my legs back up to me and craddled them to my chest. The little girl was still looking at me.
The children got off, but the woman hadn't finished with her sermon (she was sitting on the Central Line window seat near the doors, dominating the situation) so she carried on being her angry self. (The children were fine, alone???!)
The person near me started whispering something to me. I felt under my legs and bum, and indeed, there was something there! I took it out, and it was 2 little silver bracelets with 2 pink beads that the little girl had slipped under my bum when I was too absorbed by the stern woman, to notice!!
My friend said to me "I think she wants you to have that so you can think about her later in your life and send her some healing, or as a kind of communicative protection or something"
I was scared that the horrible woman would see the little girl had left those with me, and tried to hide them in my closed fist but they were bendy and kept popping out!
I pretended to nod at the woman, to look like I was listening to her so she wouldn't notice.
I was very touched by the little girl's gesture. I didn't think I could help her, I had much less power than this old woman had with her religion... "the aim of religions is to take all the power on earth" (quote from Bercy's website...I can't get over that and how true it feels ot me)

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This was the morning! But it wasn't finished and after someone had to get up, I was able to drift back.

And wake up from that last dream with a really dead leg!!!

I was in the cranial group, we were having a seminar, and Michael brought in a guest. We were in a sort of conference hall, but there was some grass there and some people, later, playing football.

He brought in this singer person who was quite famous, and was a woman, but people kept referring to her as "he" because he was one of those. A bit confusing really.
So he was a bloke, but as a woman. And he was a very special notoriousish person.

He played back and sung over one of his songs, which sounded familiar to me, I must have heard it in shops before. Or something.
He finished and everyone was happy except me because I don't like being in a group, and was feeling my normal antisocial-paranoid-agressive-introverted self.

The singer asked the class if we wanted to join in to do vocals, like backing vocals and improvise if we could, so about 4 people got up, Clarinda was there, and anotehr one, as well as Suad who is always happy to be about. I was feeling really grumpy and annoyed to be in the group with all this fuss going on, and was moaning inside, but somehow something made me get up and join them too. We stood near the grand piano, they organised a microphone for us too, and he started his song again.

The rest of the class was looking.

The song was played and I kept remembering it, it was so so familiar to me! Hell, it was a long time ago, but where?
Somehow, with a natural that surprised me in those repressed state of mind I was in, I picked up the perfect places to sing harmonies during the song, and backing vocals. (I usually think I am crap at everything, but this time, i could tell I was being rather good at it for a change) I was putting those musical lyrics at the places like what I would have done if it was my song. The other girls eventually gave up as they couldn't guess the song or didn't know where to put harmonies and what to sing, and Suad looked at me really surprised, how could I know the song and be good at this?

I don't know, but she left and I was quite happy carrying on, surprising myself with my voice, singing along with the long haired man-woman .
Something bothered me in my memory. He was singing in a foreign language which was English but a different English, his lyrics were very clever, like pop stars lyrics. (ok, I mean they were worked on)
Then, he went off to play a second song, which again, I recognised and sung different words to,in my head (I had stopped singing by then) as they came to my mind.
A third song was played, at that point, I understood, and remembered it.
Those songs were my songs! It was where I had heard them before!
The first song was a very old Green Drummers song I had done years ago and I kept on wanting to remember the lyrics I had writen but couldn't! My mind had gone blank! And that third song that he sung was taken from the Tranny and the Tramp song, but he only had used the chorus! That one I could recognise for having played it at most of my late gigs!

I was boiling, and not bothered anymore to being in the group or being shy and antisocial, fighting for what belonged to me, I interrupted that singer person and said "those are my songs! How dare you! You have either stolen my songs or you have the same soul as me and we have just drawn the exact same material!"
I was making a fuss, all loud and careless! Michael was looking at me strangely! Normal, I am usually very quiet. But I wasn't going to be quiet in front of that man stealing my songs and being famous-ish with them!

To prove they were my songs, I went to my computer desk (which was in this conference room???)and climbed to reach the top where I have my music books, trying to search for the first song he sung, which I had writen the lyrics of, in my pink book, but it wasn't there, so I looked in my blue book, and couldn't find it! They had disappeared!
What song was that! One about my family or my home! Had he stolen it there?

I was getting all excited and disrupting the whole thing and making a mess, and some blokes were playing football and the ball landed twice near me,(we were on a break now) and somehow, having found some coordination and agility with all this going on, I managed to catch the ball or do something with it twice, and they were very impressed! I can never catch balls usually as I feel so shit about others! It gets me very awkward and uncoordinated and stupid looking, which is why I hate sports. The only time when it changes is when I come out of myself! (very rare, shyness is a real disability)

I was really happy actually, to feel in my right and to be the centre of attention, for the right reasons; I was coming out of myself and rather sure and tall, and expressive.

I asked the singer to play those chords again for me on the smaller piano on the side, so I could remember which song of mine it was, but he "got confused" and played some crap so I wouldn't recognise the song. The piano suddenly went really weird, like if the sustain pedal was being held by a ghost and it was just making really loud mixed up notes. I had to shut the piano, apologizing to Michael for all this loud noise, and give up about trying to remember which song of mine this was.

Some other person was speaking to the singer and saying "he", which I found embarassing for him since he obviously wanted to be a woman.

The dream stopped there as a signal in my leg made me nearly jump out of bed and shake it, shake it, to stop it going to gangrene!
That's what happens when sleeping on the side, what a stupid idea, I can never understand why and how can people sleep on their sides without getting dead legs!
It interrupted a really interesting dream!