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The Lights On a Rainy Night
2011.04.03
___________________________________________...
FYI: I'm not obligated to divulge personal information. At this stage, I prefer to keep a low profile. Why do you ask such questions? What prompted you to probe? What did I say/do that made you curious? Is it really an itch you have to scratch? Someday, I'll be like a kitty kneading its paws on its human pal. FYI: I don't own or plan to own a cat, but I just read this article about animal behaviour. I simply don't feel like getting interviewed. One question leads to another digging deeper with the intention of unravelling something juicy. Do I have to keep regurgitating my history? Are you trying to analyze what kind of person I am?
Okay. I'll reveal some basic info: 1) I've never smoked. I'm like an asthmatic when I approach or get approached by a smoker; 2.) I think I had a rum-enhanced Piña Colada once. It was so damn bitter. Anyway, I don't drink. My excessive enthusiasm (a.k.a. overzealousness)/happy mood sometimes can be mistaken for a naturally drunk personality though; 3.) I've never done drugs; 4.) I've never been in a gang or done delinquent activities like vandalism; 5.) I've never been to prison or rehab.
I still hold a grudge against a couple of people (unrelated; different circumstances; ex-superiors) who accused me of something I didn't do and will never do. Dear ________, I will not jeopardize my reputation and clean records. Upholding my integrity firmly is a priority of mine. At some point, I had a feeling that I was being discriminated just because I belong to a minority race. Denigration!
What is Your Motive???
Case 1
"Where's the cash?" Huh? Why the heck would you bring that up after weeks had already elapsed? Did you expect me to remember everything that I had processed? What were you trying to squeeze out of me? Of course, I'm imperfect! Math is not my forte. The discrepancies that you realized after reviewing (reconciled) just now or already knew long ago but simply waited to bring up the issue at an opportune moment were not caused by theft. It was a clerical error. I stupidly assumed that particular donor collected all the cash from his peers and wrote one big fat cheque on behalf of all the others who submitted forms. My mind wasn't in tiptop shape, FYI. I encircled the cash option when it was supposed to be cheque. I'm sorry for being "wishy-washy" (verbatim). I admit to not paying attention. I am willing to put my hand on a Bible and swear an oath to God!
Was it because I stopped being friendly and smiled no more, so you immediately suspected me of doing heinous acts? FYI, when I get bored or another aspect of my life is in shambles, I lose enthusiasm and gradually drift away from people who shouldn't be affected/concerned. I'm sometimes like a switch that can be turned off in an instant. I know that what happens here, must remain here. I'm sorry for not being able to completely keep my personal problems from affecting my performance/demeanour at work. This is what I dislike about myself.
When I get asked, "How are you?" or "How's it going?", I usually respond with, "I'm good!", even though I'm not. Don't demand for an elaborate description or explanation. It's because I have a tendency to break down. Please leave it be as "I'm good!". It's like the adage, "Out of sight. Out of mind.".
Case 2
You have a superiority complex for thinking that everyone that you are lecturing are stupid or naive. FYI, everyone is unique (e.g. Gen-Y in the same class, but not on the same level) in terms of backgrounds: education, employment, social standing, ethnicity, wordly experiences, IQ, EQ, etc. You just jump to conclusions (DYK it's a.k.a. prejudice?). It's convenient for you, huh? You don't bother to understand others. It's a soft skill, FYI. You may be a success in the money-making world, but you fail as a human being.
YOU...MADE...ME...CRY!!! Your accusatory words are forever etched on my mind: "Did you write it, or did you buy it?" I didn't pull any strings to make it possible, FYI. Morality is ingrained in my psyche thanks to my folks. I made self sacrifices (skipped sleep, meals, mandatory attendance) to get it done on time. You made others believe that I would do a suspension-worthy act. Why didn't YOU clear up the misunderstanding with "the audience"?! Don't worry. They don't tease me.They simply don't trust me anymore! "Did you copy that?"
Huh?! What? Can't I be a creative person? You don't think that I have a brain with a right hemisphere? Is it because I don't establish myself as someone with that ability? It's frustrating. I'm getting tired of continuously proving that I'm legit! Ugh!!! *Breathe in. Breathe out.* I'd rather fail numerous times knowing that I did what I can or withdraw voluntarily than do what you just accused me of - cheat.
___________________________________________...
It's irritating how some individuals (including my very own kin) in this world are narrow-minded or simple-minded, whichever. I have a conscience; however, just because I can't sleep at night doesn't mean I'm suffering from guilt. Guilt? What the? It's like saying, "C'mon. Fess up! That way, it's convenient for us. We don't want to rack our brains. Make this an easy job for us, will ya? We don't want to give you the benefit of the doubt. We don't want to understand you. Due process is BS, therefore, unnecessary." It's like being imprisoned even though one is truly innocent. I can't sleep because of something else, FYI.
Why am I here? I need the darkness of the night. It helps me somehow.
FYI: I'm not obligated to divulge personal information. At this stage, I prefer to keep a low profile. Why do you ask such questions? What prompted you to probe? What did I say/do that made you curious? Is it really an itch you have to scratch? Someday, I'll be like a kitty kneading its paws on its human pal. FYI: I don't own or plan to own a cat, but I just read this article about animal behaviour. I simply don't feel like getting interviewed. One question leads to another digging deeper with the intention of unravelling something juicy. Do I have to keep regurgitating my history? Are you trying to analyze what kind of person I am?
Okay. I'll reveal some basic info: 1) I've never smoked. I'm like an asthmatic when I approach or get approached by a smoker; 2.) I think I had a rum-enhanced Piña Colada once. It was so damn bitter. Anyway, I don't drink. My excessive enthusiasm (a.k.a. overzealousness)/happy mood sometimes can be mistaken for a naturally drunk personality though; 3.) I've never done drugs; 4.) I've never been in a gang or done delinquent activities like vandalism; 5.) I've never been to prison or rehab.
I still hold a grudge against a couple of people (unrelated; different circumstances; ex-superiors) who accused me of something I didn't do and will never do. Dear ________, I will not jeopardize my reputation and clean records. Upholding my integrity firmly is a priority of mine. At some point, I had a feeling that I was being discriminated just because I belong to a minority race. Denigration!
What is Your Motive???
Case 1
"Where's the cash?" Huh? Why the heck would you bring that up after weeks had already elapsed? Did you expect me to remember everything that I had processed? What were you trying to squeeze out of me? Of course, I'm imperfect! Math is not my forte. The discrepancies that you realized after reviewing (reconciled) just now or already knew long ago but simply waited to bring up the issue at an opportune moment were not caused by theft. It was a clerical error. I stupidly assumed that particular donor collected all the cash from his peers and wrote one big fat cheque on behalf of all the others who submitted forms. My mind wasn't in tiptop shape, FYI. I encircled the cash option when it was supposed to be cheque. I'm sorry for being "wishy-washy" (verbatim). I admit to not paying attention. I am willing to put my hand on a Bible and swear an oath to God!
Was it because I stopped being friendly and smiled no more, so you immediately suspected me of doing heinous acts? FYI, when I get bored or another aspect of my life is in shambles, I lose enthusiasm and gradually drift away from people who shouldn't be affected/concerned. I'm sometimes like a switch that can be turned off in an instant. I know that what happens here, must remain here. I'm sorry for not being able to completely keep my personal problems from affecting my performance/demeanour at work. This is what I dislike about myself.
When I get asked, "How are you?" or "How's it going?", I usually respond with, "I'm good!", even though I'm not. Don't demand for an elaborate description or explanation. It's because I have a tendency to break down. Please leave it be as "I'm good!". It's like the adage, "Out of sight. Out of mind.".
Case 2
You have a superiority complex for thinking that everyone that you are lecturing are stupid or naive. FYI, everyone is unique (e.g. Gen-Y in the same class, but not on the same level) in terms of backgrounds: education, employment, social standing, ethnicity, wordly experiences, IQ, EQ, etc. You just jump to conclusions (DYK it's a.k.a. prejudice?). It's convenient for you, huh? You don't bother to understand others. It's a soft skill, FYI. You may be a success in the money-making world, but you fail as a human being.
YOU...MADE...ME...CRY!!! Your accusatory words are forever etched on my mind: "Did you write it, or did you buy it?" I didn't pull any strings to make it possible, FYI. Morality is ingrained in my psyche thanks to my folks. I made self sacrifices (skipped sleep, meals, mandatory attendance) to get it done on time. You made others believe that I would do a suspension-worthy act. Why didn't YOU clear up the misunderstanding with "the audience"?! Don't worry. They don't tease me.They simply don't trust me anymore! "Did you copy that?"
Huh?! What? Can't I be a creative person? You don't think that I have a brain with a right hemisphere? Is it because I don't establish myself as someone with that ability? It's frustrating. I'm getting tired of continuously proving that I'm legit! Ugh!!! *Breathe in. Breathe out.* I'd rather fail numerous times knowing that I did what I can or withdraw voluntarily than do what you just accused me of - cheat.
___________________________________________...
It's irritating how some individuals (including my very own kin) in this world are narrow-minded or simple-minded, whichever. I have a conscience; however, just because I can't sleep at night doesn't mean I'm suffering from guilt. Guilt? What the? It's like saying, "C'mon. Fess up! That way, it's convenient for us. We don't want to rack our brains. Make this an easy job for us, will ya? We don't want to give you the benefit of the doubt. We don't want to understand you. Due process is BS, therefore, unnecessary." It's like being imprisoned even though one is truly innocent. I can't sleep because of something else, FYI.
Why am I here? I need the darkness of the night. It helps me somehow.
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download digital dissertation · 2012-04-06: 11:00
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