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Girl In The War

2009.03.12

Girl In The War, last night, 2 am.

"it must be difficult to live with a photographer.

first, you must think you’re eternally being spied upon, trying to be caught unawares, that an eye waiting to catch the true-true-you is always present, and always watching. it is only later that you realize that it isn’t your essence that the photographer is trying to capture and distill truth from, it’s theirs. that each image pointed at you is really just a sublimated view of themselves, and that what they project when they point and click in your general direction is really just a reflection back of self, sometimes twisted and sometimes upside-down.

so it’s a perverse kind of attention: they look at you to get a better look at themselves. didn’t you know that an essential piece of the camera is the mirror installed inside the casing?"

From the...

... And sometimes we are just too tired to point that camera anywhere but towards ourselves. Like a fast deliverance. The document of a war you've been, or still going through. And some do it from some self-adulation, and others do it because they need proof they did not evaporate into nothingness altogether, and many others sway violently between the two.

So what does this tell me, my most accurate diagnostic tool? I guess that is too private and hurtful to go through. And sometimes in the moments of intense pain (and no I am not a masochist, I do hate pain), i think that I rather have this then feel nothing at all.

28 Comments

'The dove is a dragon and your feet are on fire.' Bring on the photographic healing powers, I say.

Iwanowski · 2009-03-12: 07:22

Welcome back, beautiful girl... :-)

wfrnk · 2009-03-12: 08:33

nice...beautiful...

justsomeone · 2009-03-12: 09:01

Interesting post - thought-provoking.....glad to see you back.

lookagain · 2009-03-12: 09:06

I guess it is similar to someone who pinches themselves to make sure they are not in a dream. Pain has a way of reminding us of our mortality.

makaid · 2009-03-12: 09:52

I am glad to see you back. But not the photo. :))

lalmendra · 2009-03-12: 10:45

this is so interesting and also sad but ... When I am in pain and crushed feeling expressing it in an image saves me somehow. Putting this on took some of the weight out off the feelings and then the responses I got really really helped me with it. Your words have given my understanding of this a shape. Thank you.
I don't like pain either. I loathe the expression 'no pain no gain'. So want it not to be true, so want there to be a better way to grow but in my experience I do my biggest growing with it. No consolation I suppose.

I love the picture too.

caroleagle · 2009-03-12: 11:38

A very thought provoking post.

etodd80 · 2009-03-12: 11:42

Cool !

leocheung · 2009-03-12: 12:13

Powerful..........

joycephotography · 2009-03-12: 12:33

i'm not sure what to think of the photograph, although i suspect it's only meant as a placeholder for the rest of the post. it's an awfully perplexing proposition made herein. but i it's inspired me to look back over the last couple of years worth of photographs and try to remember my mindset, joys, struggles, etc. i wonder is there something to this?

dhulsmeyer · 2009-03-12: 13:00

Fascinating link about fukase (and a good self portrait)

yellodog · 2009-03-12: 15:08

yeah,,,

TIM927 · 2009-03-12: 15:32

Maybe if you show your pain and share it with others, you'll feel better.
Beautiful song to go with your self-portrait. =')

Nellinka · 2009-03-12: 16:21

pOwErfUl! Great post. Awsome expression and wonderful text! Thanks a lot for sharing!

davidcardona · 2009-03-12: 16:52

war. wouldn't it be nice if we could be rid of it... hope peace finds you. hope you find peace. i know it's out there.

krx72 · 2009-03-12: 17:55

Hehehe, nice to see you here again! :)

ppinho · 2009-03-12: 18:16

Nice!!!

Mediterraneo66 · 2009-03-12: 18:41

Really nice to see you back, and you've really made me think too!

MeusCorpus · 2009-03-12: 19:09

I suppose with pain you're not lost in nothingness. I don't know which is better for me. Just breathe.

mariaps · 2009-03-12: 22:24

the first part, i must say are words of wisdom, it could and could not be true or applicable to others. the second part... well, maybe only those with similar experience will be able to agree or argue.

as per your self pix, i couldn't sense any expression of pain except just plain beauty shying away from her own lense. may you find peace, even if only in pain.

asiamack · 2009-03-13: 00:44

everything you do makes me just release a great big sigh. You've got my mind racing in all manner of direction with these words and definitely reflecting on my own images.

focussed · 2009-03-14: 17:17

A hard good to métier that that of photographer... But your sensibilitée is very strong. Your talent directly comes of your Yugoslavian soufrances... J'aime énormément ton travail

kormoran · 2009-03-16: 04:41

well, hum, … thanks!

vrignaud · 2009-03-17: 14:42

Thanks for coming back.

vrignaud · 2009-03-19: 14:07

You blow my mind... with your photos and with your words.

magnolak · 2009-03-22: 10:49

Hey Dragana, glad you`re back but feels sad about your inner struggle!
This self portrait shows it all!
Hope you have grown strengh and sure you`ll become stronger and wiser!!

UNdOne · 2009-03-25: 19:00

Wonderful Post! Great thoughts.

ShowMe · 2009-03-27: 15:18

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