#1 - Do not under any circumstances buy Christmas crackers, no good will ever come of it. You pull, you have one quick bang, someone tells a lame joke to try and make light of an awkward situation and it's all over. You thought it would be fun but afterwards you just feel cheated. That's because you have been.

Some people complain about the commercialisation of Christmas. As one of the eat, drink and be merry brigade, I don't really get too bothered about this. If people work hard for their money, then as far as I'm concerned they can spend it on all the gifts and luxuries they like; with one exception. Anyone daft enough to spend their money on these things has clearly demonstrated that they are not sufficiently in control to be able to look after their own money. In short, if one of your family or friends invites you to Christmas dinner and you see these things on the table you have every right to go to a lawyer and seek the power of attorney over their finances. It's for their own good.

It's not much of a photo, so instead of leaving comments about it. Why not make some suggestions for how to better spend your money this Christmas. I'll make a start. Instead of buying crackers, you could send your money to me here at CACK, that's the Campaign Against Christmas Krackers. Every penny donated will be used to buy beer for an old man afflicted by the crushing disappointment caused by a lifetime of cracker abuse. Please help.

Im in on the beer contribution....send me an address...to send my contribution....even if you use it i will send.....cracker addict!!! cheers !!!!!! MARETKA88 · 2010-12-20: 22:38

So good Jon, I can't wait to see secret #2... we didn't grow up with Christmas crackers, so it's not something I put my kids through (unless they hound me to death about getting some) My only other comment is, if you were going to divulge secrets about how to have a great Christmas, you could have started a month ago... I've probably made all of the mistakes now, and there's no turning back ;-) McMommy · 2010-12-20: 22:43

oh yeah, what a victim YOU are~ thoughts on how to better spend your money: ~buy me gasoline so I can drive down more country roads ~stock up on batteries and memory cards for my camera ~save for that trip to Ireland I've always wanted to take urmysunshine · 2010-12-20: 23:27

I laughed so hard over this my hubby wanted to know what was going on and I had to read it to him! OK... I suggest spending money on GOOD BREAD... really dense crusty bread, none of that crappy soft white stuff. Who cares if it costs 4 times the price, it's worth every penny. So treat your mother, treat your friends... a year of GOOD BREAD! DancingDolphin · 2010-12-21: 00:03

......but Jon......most of my tool kit has come from crakers!!! LAZYWASP · 2010-12-21: 03:27

I asked Santa for a new mountain bike - but my wife said "NO"! danrav · 2010-12-21: 05:47

Jon, we don't have Christmas crackers here, so no worries about that for us! Apparently, all the money we would be spending on them goes to other more dignified things like cheap plastic lighted Santas, some even inflatable to "decorate" our yards! lookagain · 2010-12-21: 11:08

:-) in my country such crackers don't exist... i asked santa for a bionic arm ;-) merry christmas jon at your best with or without crackers :-)))) ????? · 2010-12-21: 13:27

Wahahahahaha... I am here laughing and my husband is looking at my with that face "I love you, but you are crazy". ????? · 2010-12-21: 16:12

Now you made me so curious!! What are Christmas crackers?!? My advice for a happy Christmas:never ever try to wrap Christmas presents in the presence of a cat:) Eiram · 2010-12-21: 17:00

Too funny! I know what you are talking about, but I've never purchased any! Good for me! darfoster · 2010-12-21: 18:56

I think I should just send you firewood. It looks so cold there! ????? · 2010-12-21: 23:26

I was interested to read from the comments that not every country has crackers - they dont know what they're missing out on. My particular favourites are the ones you get in restaurants with 2D plastic 'things' in which you cant always work out what they are! Better to wrap up an individual chocolate and just shout bang as you pass the box around! busybee36 · 2010-12-25: 01:53

Tagged: christmas crackers