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Local News (WARNING: What Passes For Humour In This Post May Not Be Suitable For The Easily Shocked)

2011.12.02
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Exorcism has never been so popular since that hit and run.
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All this posthumous adoration for the late Apple chief has gone a bit far.
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Boss held what? A party to celebrate getting all that money?
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What's the problem? Their whole purpose is to sell trash.
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Couldn't he get hold of a prayer mat then?
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No more Millwall; what a shame ;-)
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Has anybody seen my prescription?
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Hooray, I'd like a room for a fortnight. En-suit with a view of the beach please.
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I think they'd probably have more success if they used attack dogs.
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I'd Rather Have Fish & Chips.
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Who'd have thought that it would have enough power to charge 4 of them?
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I've always found them really expensive as well.
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Judge Evict v Dale Farm, what a wrestling match that will be.
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And you're not allowed to take any of those flowers in either.
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Of course the only way to settle it is a tear-up in the car park.
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Did you get a school place?
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Fight to get a place, but if you strike out the school will be shut.
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I'm afraid that's an occupational hazard for a killer's chauffeur.
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Of course it arrests. Murder will stop you from doing almost anything.
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Oh the many happy hours I've spent in Club Assault.
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But that is just so gay!
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She had her fingers in the till. Not like the pet shop worker who had her fingers in the Trill!
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I don't think they should get such big rewards for sacking people.
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Giant Thames! Is that the secret river that the government won't tell us about?
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Well, is it dead or not?
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They are tax bills that are sent out by the local council. Simple really.
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What a heartless bastard!
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Was it too left wing for them?
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Apparently the shop selling picketing equipment has made a fortune flogging placards, armbands and braziers.
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They'll be calling for a long time, don' they realise that tower blocks are inanimate objects.
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I really like newspaper hoardings. At their best they can convey a whole news story in just a few simple words. But I don't like them at their best. I like them when they are slightly ambiguous so that my mischievous mind can make up alternative meanings for them.
16 Comments
liveandletlive LMAO! Wow. I like your interpretations.
liveandletlive · 2011-12-01: 20:35
danrav What a gas!!!
danrav · 2011-12-01: 20:50
smbunation Bad typography... bad... Sheesh...
smbunation · 2011-12-01: 20:58
Annbramwell At last! Something in the news I can laugh at... Thanks Jon!
Annbramwell · 2011-12-02: 03:27
jet28 I bet they work for hours on the right wording :-)
jet28 · 2011-12-02: 06:29
miclaud This is an original way to make our minds work....
miclaud · 2011-12-02: 07:08
lookagain Hahaha....you must have a blast coming up with these!!! Hilarious, Jon!
lookagain · 2011-12-02: 08:22
LAZYWASP So thats why you have been hanging round my shop!!!!!
LAZYWASP · 2011-12-02: 09:11
nadoune Really the news of week !!!
nadoune · 2011-12-02: 09:48
girafferacing Lol, you've been collecting these for quite some time! :-) I love the way you've twisted someof them around.
girafferacing · 2011-12-02: 12:11
atszabo Headlinese for Dummies! That is such a difficult aspect of teaching English as a Foreign Language!
atszabo · 2011-12-02: 17:03
marilynx Golly Gosh ... is the Echo still going?
I have a "cut-out" of me being reported in that paper ( somewhere).
I still visit sister in Shoeburyness...she's BUSYBEE within these walls!
marilynx · 2011-12-08: 03:41
Ryana Your mind and camera did a hilarious job!
Ryana · 2011-12-08: 05:38
helys Great, ineresting and funny job !
Thanks so much for sharing
helys · 2011-12-08: 12:43
DancingDolphin This was fun! I've never seen things like ... maybe I need to look harder. Well done!
DancingDolphin · 2011-12-08: 22:43
Eiram wow! you live such a dramatic life in Britain!
On the other hand - I stopped reading Czech newspapers a while ago, maybe I would be surprised:)
Eiram · 2011-12-10: 13:44
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Views: 681
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Tagged: evening echo newspaper southend hoarding hoardings double meanings
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