Bangkok Day 1: Canal Tour

Early Morning Canal Tour
We bought a private Early Morning Canal Tour but when the tour guide (Nancy) arrived, she mentioned that another 3 Singaporeans will join us. Not only that, for the 'free' city tour, 4 more tourists from Sweden joined us.

We made our way to a pier under the Somdet Phra Pin Klao Bridge where we will travel along the legendary Chao Phraya River and the klongs of Thonburi on a River Express Boat. Bangkok is formerly known as the "Venice of the East." and we were treated to colourful scenery along the river banks. The waterways offer a great way of getting around as they are unaffected by the constant traffic on the roads, and are very cheap too.

Tip 1: One of the top bargains available is the 1 hour 15 minute boat trip from the pier near the Oriental Hotel all the way up to Nonthaburi, a Bangkok suburb for only ฿10 per person.

We were supposed to see men and women, eyes shaded by enormous straw hats, take their products to the market in long narrow boats (sampans). However, do not expect to see much of any floating market nor people young and old paddling boats laden with fruits, vegetable, and other produce. The Wat Sai floating market has died out as a genuine floating market about 40 years ago. The 2 or 3 sampans you see now are boats that sell souvenirs to tourists.

Tip 2: Visit the floating market at Damnoen Saduak instead.


Thonburi Snake Farm
Thonburi was briefly Thailand's capital in the 18th century after the fall of Ayuthaya, until Rama I moved his court across the river to Bangkok.

The Thonburi Snake Farm, situated in the suburb of Thonburn, in the western part of the city. is an optional stop for us. It is only accessible by boat and the entrance fee is ฿150 pax. The Snake Show showcases the extraction of venom from a cobra using bare hands, the jumping-snake, the picking up of poisonous pit viper with the handler's mouth, and fighting with a big python. The farm is also a small zoo full of clearly miserable animals kept in cages.

Tip 3: Visit the snake farm called Pasteur Institute near Siam Square instead as it is the second oldest snake farm in the world, is affiliated with the Red Cross, is more professional and is cheaper.


City Tour
After the 1 hour 15 minutes canal tour, a Swedish family joined our van, and Nancy gave us a 'free' city tour. The city tour is not really a tour as we were not given any stops to take pictures or visited any of the attractions. The 'free' tour is just a journey to a tailor shop and a gemstone factory which the tour agency gets a kick-back for bringing tourists there.


Platinum Fashion Mall and Plantip Plaza
Nancy then promised a free ride to any of the attractions in Bangkok. We decided not to drop somewhere near Pratunum as it is near our hotel. We requested to go to one of the famous wats, but it was not in their way. They ended up dropping us across the Platinum Fashion Mall where we had our lunch (฿145) at the food court. Many food courts in Bangkok operate on a "Kopitiam" concept where food is only purchasable by coupons and not cash. The mall is on Phetchaburi Road and is specialized in fashion clothes and accessories.

After walking around the Mall, which is a source for retail shops all around Bangkok and one can purchase at wholesale price by purchasing a minimum of three pieces from the same store, we walked to the nearby Pantip Plaza, the Sim Lim Square of Bangkok. The indoor IT mall is famous for its countefeit software and DVDs. I bought a USB cable for ฿50. By the way, A&W still survives in Thailand, and I ordered a root beer float which I solely miss in Singapore.


Ping-Pong Show @ Patpong
We actually planned to catch the Muay Thai in the evening with the Singaporeans we met this morning to save cost and to raise bargaining power. Unfortunately they were stuck in traffic from MBK Center.

We changed our plans and hailed a taxi from our hotel to see the "ping-pong show" in Patpong, a night entertainment district and the world famous red-light strip.

We asked the driver on recommendations for cheap Thai food and he brought us to a seafood restaurant and waited for us. There were also other taxis waiting at the carpark. We were asked to choose our seafood, but we declined and requested to see the menu instead. There were only foreigners and we suspected this will be an expensive place. A look at the menu confirmed our suspicion as each dish costs in the region of hundreds. We left the restaurant quickly.

Tip 4: Do not ask taxi or tuk-tuk drivers for recommendations to discount Jewellery stores, tailors, restaurants and entertainment venues.

The taxi driver then drove us to a go-go bar. The entrance fee is ฿600 pax with a free drink. The show was an eye-opening experience and it was amazing to witness the tricks the girls could do using their pelvic muscles to either hold, eject, or blow objects from their vaginal cavities.

Some of the shows involve pulling a long ribbon out attached with razor blades, shooting darts at balloons, having clear water miraculously turned to brown coke, blowing candles, and opening of coke bottles. For the finale, an old man and an disinterested woman had sex. However, the performers looked bored. Seeing bot-bellied 40 years-old women shove ping pong balls in themselves is not at all titillating.

Tip 5: Be careful if you want to head upstairs into one of the bars where scams ripping off tourists with hefty bills occur especially when buying a drink for one of the 'hostesses."

To be fair to Patpong, it is also popular for its vibrant night bazaar. Aside from shopping, there are also a lot of quality bistros and the incredibly good value Thai eateries.

We then requested to go to Asia Hotel and enquired about the price of the cabaret show to experience more of Bangkok's exciting night life. The walk-in tickets without meals cost ฿1200 pax. Thinking that our taxi driver marked up the price and the fact that the show had already started, we asked our driver to drive us back to our hotel (฿120 for the whole night) where we bought a lot of food (฿200) from the street-side hawkers at the Pratunum district for dinner.