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downpour
2009.06.25
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Today felt like the sky was falling - A few unexpected events having a huge effect on my life.
I hadn't known how much I was attached to the place I live and work until the house was put on the market by the owners. I wish I hadn't still been in the building when the dozens of potential buyers came crashing through my personal and professional space. I can't shake the feeling of invasion. Though I'm still living and working here, it no longer feels like my home. And now I know how much that matters. To A Mouse.
On turning her up in her nest with the plough, November 1785.
Small, sleek, cowering, timorous beast,
O, what a panic is in your breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With hurrying scamper!
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering plough-staff.
I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
And justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
And fellow mortal!
I doubt not, sometimes, but you may steal;
What then? Poor beast, you must live!
An odd ear in twenty-four sheaves
Is a small request;
I will get a blessing with what is left,
And never miss it.
Your small house, too, in ruin!
It's feeble walls the winds are scattering!
And nothing now, to build a new one,
Of coarse grass green!
And bleak December's winds coming,
Both bitter and keen!
You saw the fields laid bare and wasted,
And weary winter coming fast,
And cozy here, beneath the blast,
You thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel plough past
Out through your cell.
That small bit heap of leaves and stubble,
Has cost you many a weary nibble!
Now you are turned out, for all your trouble,
Without house or holding,
To endure the winter's sleety dribble,
And hoar-frost cold.
But Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leaves us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!
Still you are blest, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!
i am sorry for the invasion... i understand completely how you feel.
on the other hand, this might turn into a healthy shock. your place being "yours" was an illusion, and yeah, we all live with these, but if we are forced to see reality, it usually means that we are able to move again. and i believe moving is what really really makes you yourself. :-)
I`ve felt sometimes the opposite... was glad to have the freedom of just giving up the place I live from one day to the other... but this has changed since my son is there (before his birth I considered as my one and only home the place where I`ve grown up, where even today, my mother is waiting for my visits). with his birth the desire for a real home where we all belong was born too. and it is there. and its a wonderful feeling. now, I`d definitely feel like you above, if someone would want to take my home away. but fortunately, nobody will do.
