I used to dream of being a skinny slightly addicted punk rocker living in a meat factory in Boston at this age. and the truth is i'm still in my parents basement, still sick, and still whining about my weight. But hey, I've got some good stuff going on. I'm not with my shitty Ex boyfriend (sorry jon, but you were hella shitty) and i'm going to school for esthetics. which is pretty cool. I guess I always really loved makeup. even when I was 16. Well I got my face pierced, which younger me would have thought was like sooo badass. no sweet AFI tattoos though haaaa. I'm lucky that I live in an age where I got to have a secret blog growing up. and I got to post pictures of my secret girlfriend. and I got to say shitty things about good people. And I got to feel like i was dying, while still being vibrant. I wish i knew why my little mind worked like that. I wish it still kinda did. I got out of my depression phase of just laying on the couch and letting my body and mind dissipate. but that was thanks to Paxil. Too bad it stoped working. Still looking for something to fix my depression. I wish I knew that battle would last for so long. Maybe I could have fought it more as a kid. I'm fucking some guy just for fun now, which is pretty great. I know i'm going to look back on that when i'm a real adult and be horrified, but for now i can still be a stupid honest beer guzzlin ginger.