eating alone. . . amended

"We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink, for dining alone is leading the life of a lion or wolf." --Epicurus

I felt quite independent until I met Howard. A company transferred me to the East Coast. Howard acted as if he were taming a wild animal slowly. He brought me ginger snap cookies he had baked. Several times he brought me a rose from his garden. He wasn't my "type." He thinks in zeros and ones.

But gradually we came to know one another. I don't know when I realized it, but Howard became my ballast. Thinking in binary terms balanced my flaming independent, now-fading, red-headed emotional streak.

So much so that now, barely a day into his business trip back east today, I am startlingly aware of feeling alone. Not lonely. Alone.

I prefer to think that I've not lost my independence. Merely that I'm temporarily missing my best friend and lover. (Is this an R-rated photoblog? May I write that word here?) Best friend and IT support. I am using his Nikons, so I'm sure he'll return.

Besides, I will eat from soldotnamanda's pottery. And read from a book another friend recommended, just as he recommended this photoblog. Guess I'm not truly eating alone.

Footer: This is just a maudlin ode to my guy on a business trip.

This is the real story. I eat at the counter. I don't look at what I'm eating. Eating bores me. Books and computers and walking the Labs--fun! But not fun if one passes out from lack of food. Hence, eating to survive.