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The most profound statements are often said in silence.

2012.06.13
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262 Comments
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kenzidancer · 2012-06-13: 19:37
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wytxaxxa · 2014-04-03: 04:02
gcnlxtrp There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
gcnlxtrp · 2014-04-03: 05:17
ufixeqcj Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
ufixeqcj · 2014-04-03: 09:40
xarqwlrn Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
xarqwlrn · 2014-04-04: 21:40
gjbbyagm I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
gjbbyagm · 2014-04-04: 22:41
ocxhgagh The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
ocxhgagh · 2014-04-05: 09:00
ppfuiqjl Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
ppfuiqjl · 2014-04-05: 19:56
gfvjfghb I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
gfvjfghb · 2014-04-06: 12:35
yuxtnafm Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
yuxtnafm · 2014-04-07: 03:19
pimkzjsp The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
pimkzjsp · 2014-04-07: 08:16
votflcyg I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
votflcyg · 2014-04-07: 14:06
rxpkbdii We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
rxpkbdii · 2014-04-08: 00:47
yfjvxrhf O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
yfjvxrhf · 2014-04-08: 04:07
qnbasdzl When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
qnbasdzl · 2014-04-08: 11:53
gbggjevt Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
gbggjevt · 2014-04-08: 22:37
tvoqzybm Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
tvoqzybm · 2014-04-10: 06:29
xhogmlci Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
xhogmlci · 2014-04-11: 04:41
sjhlnsrt When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
sjhlnsrt · 2014-04-12: 00:11
zmrhrrpz There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
zmrhrrpz · 2014-04-13: 05:21
lpzvokzj Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
lpzvokzj · 2014-04-13: 17:33
vtmbedxv You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
vtmbedxv · 2014-04-13: 22:00
rwqhvqvd The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
rwqhvqvd · 2014-04-14: 03:35
rnemvwin I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
rnemvwin · 2014-04-14: 13:28
vuwfzbhn The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
vuwfzbhn · 2014-04-14: 14:23
rcnjkbbo I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
rcnjkbbo · 2014-04-15: 01:34
vmlfstec Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
vmlfstec · 2014-04-15: 05:03
kxdagnxz I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
kxdagnxz · 2014-04-15: 12:23
ywdzrpmp Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
ywdzrpmp · 2014-04-15: 21:05
yzqzeqir People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
yzqzeqir · 2014-04-16: 10:09
zndmvhpn Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
zndmvhpn · 2014-04-16: 12:48
thoqxqpj A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
thoqxqpj · 2014-04-16: 21:36
tzrfnfui Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
tzrfnfui · 2014-04-17: 05:03
ksbhlury The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
ksbhlury · 2014-04-17: 08:36
ttdkgjpq Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
ttdkgjpq · 2014-04-17: 19:38
qsbrpapt A camel is a horse designed by a committee
qsbrpapt · 2014-04-18: 06:09
bgkrewik The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
bgkrewik · 2014-04-18: 12:28
rntucvbb I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
rntucvbb · 2014-04-19: 03:59
rsxyeecz Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
rsxyeecz · 2014-04-19: 04:03
zwrwpqnl Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
zwrwpqnl · 2014-04-19: 15:40
ejjdpvmt Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
ejjdpvmt · 2014-04-19: 20:07
hmjejani Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
hmjejani · 2014-04-20: 02:12
iquopkba Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
iquopkba · 2014-04-20: 12:18
ajoaaqzp The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
ajoaaqzp · 2014-04-20: 22:39
lhnbzumg If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
lhnbzumg · 2014-04-21: 09:23
ikkmeswf You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
ikkmeswf · 2014-04-21: 18:04
apgpplfg If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
apgpplfg · 2014-04-22: 07:16
fybpcyyz Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
fybpcyyz · 2014-04-22: 09:59
kusewwdv The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
kusewwdv · 2014-04-22: 19:46
pvdqqrms I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
pvdqqrms · 2014-04-23: 03:09
jiztvrem A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
jiztvrem · 2014-04-23: 06:40
aocweptl One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
aocweptl · 2014-04-23: 17:58
mvyzhzjg A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
mvyzhzjg · 2014-04-24: 15:08
izilzeew The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
izilzeew · 2014-04-24: 19:52
rpterfek If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
rpterfek · 2014-04-25: 01:36
yzetbbhd Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
yzetbbhd · 2014-04-25: 11:36
mjlmcmcx The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
mjlmcmcx · 2014-04-25: 12:14
sgxycqcg The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
sgxycqcg · 2014-04-25: 22:42
piumilcf A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
piumilcf · 2014-04-26: 03:14
kafctfkk You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
kafctfkk · 2014-04-26: 09:09
qbecnmpn Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
qbecnmpn · 2014-04-26: 19:19
qforjycz [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
qforjycz · 2014-04-26: 19:54
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sdskhjuy · 2014-04-27: 06:14
pwdrbvmf The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
pwdrbvmf · 2014-04-27: 10:49
wbaadppe It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
wbaadppe · 2014-04-28: 02:06
ffleoeie Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
ffleoeie · 2014-04-28: 12:20
ocifrtda A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
ocifrtda · 2014-04-28: 17:24
zwnarvkf Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
zwnarvkf · 2014-04-28: 22:53
pszwoccg In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
pszwoccg · 2014-04-29: 08:38
yuxtnafm My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
yuxtnafm · 2014-04-29: 19:42
sykkyfdc If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
sykkyfdc · 2014-04-30: 00:17
gxjevobs Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
gxjevobs · 2014-04-30: 05:26
fyuntwoj Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
fyuntwoj · 2014-04-30: 15:42
mjexfznj Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
mjexfznj · 2014-04-30: 16:02
trtfkqso Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
trtfkqso · 2014-05-01: 02:01
tlbtanms Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
tlbtanms · 2014-05-01: 06:37
aydcejom The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
aydcejom · 2014-05-01: 12:23
opdcyoxf I am not young enough to know everything.
opdcyoxf · 2014-05-01: 22:25
ujkadlph Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
ujkadlph · 2014-05-02: 08:21
kdylwarr If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
kdylwarr · 2014-05-02: 13:52
ekhmcrbc USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
ekhmcrbc · 2014-05-03: 07:01
zlqmmwrq Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
zlqmmwrq · 2014-05-03: 18:55
zalzatdl Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
zalzatdl · 2014-05-04: 00:05
syjfvwae It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
syjfvwae · 2014-05-04: 05:32
iopakdea The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
iopakdea · 2014-05-04: 15:49
cbuzwsob Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
cbuzwsob · 2014-05-05: 01:51
dstdbunj Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
dstdbunj · 2014-05-05: 06:34
wtjvdwed I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
wtjvdwed · 2014-05-05: 12:04
iawszque To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
iawszque · 2014-05-05: 23:23
rxryjpse I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
rxryjpse · 2014-05-05: 23:36
duoqbzay To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
duoqbzay · 2014-05-06: 09:26
ywnzwrwa I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
ywnzwrwa · 2014-05-06: 20:06
mrufufzh It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
mrufufzh · 2014-05-07: 00:33
edivaeoq My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
edivaeoq · 2014-05-07: 06:23
pmpxxtkd I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
pmpxxtkd · 2014-05-07: 18:21
rfnukodj Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
rfnukodj · 2014-05-08: 04:42
azcszhgo After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
azcszhgo · 2014-05-08: 09:11
fhmcymtr Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
fhmcymtr · 2014-05-08: 15:36
tlepnfpm A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
tlepnfpm · 2014-05-09: 01:36
ocpsjnrt If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
ocpsjnrt · 2014-05-09: 18:36
epgqozxh Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
epgqozxh · 2014-05-10: 00:04
raqvnayf To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
raqvnayf · 2014-05-10: 10:30
gozlrrew When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
gozlrrew · 2014-05-10: 11:31
mkxfgqjv If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
mkxfgqjv · 2014-05-10: 21:40
rdlvotrf Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
rdlvotrf · 2014-05-11: 05:03
fhpbqqiq The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
fhpbqqiq · 2014-05-11: 08:38
zfdefvfz It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
zfdefvfz · 2014-05-11: 19:27
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xjmstaeu · 2014-05-11: 22:02
rvydtmqu When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
rvydtmqu · 2014-05-12: 06:00
iocnsyxm The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
iocnsyxm · 2014-05-12: 15:10
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hhpbmtwv · 2014-05-12: 17:24
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adeijrop · 2014-05-13: 04:50
ncadxouw Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
ncadxouw · 2014-05-13: 16:10
lqzvzozw It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
lqzvzozw · 2014-05-13: 21:19
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yehruheh · 2014-05-14: 03:41
rotowhlh ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
rotowhlh · 2014-05-14: 13:52
qukwltlv Men have become the tools of their tools.
qukwltlv · 2014-05-14: 14:45
wbjuzpvv Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
wbjuzpvv · 2014-05-15: 01:14
rqfhalsf I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
rqfhalsf · 2014-05-15: 05:21
qxzyrumv Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
qxzyrumv · 2014-05-15: 11:57
bschagjl The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
bschagjl · 2014-05-15: 21:41
qrdtwwte The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
qrdtwwte · 2014-05-16: 13:29
smqspyaa When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
smqspyaa · 2014-05-16: 19:59
xtvodjnw Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
xtvodjnw · 2014-05-17: 05:15
gsdikdpp The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
gsdikdpp · 2014-05-17: 16:55
kspcieqk Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
kspcieqk · 2014-05-18: 02:54
qzdrsqkx Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
qzdrsqkx · 2014-05-18: 12:43
nycwvojf > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
nycwvojf · 2014-05-19: 02:12
atxdofbo One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
atxdofbo · 2014-05-19: 08:20
nmxqcnol The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
nmxqcnol · 2014-05-19: 20:43
rdtspmyr We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
rdtspmyr · 2014-05-20: 00:59
fpbpubhu Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
fpbpubhu · 2014-05-20: 17:36
jfcrxbwt Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
jfcrxbwt · 2014-05-20: 18:04
yekpmltg Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
yekpmltg · 2014-05-21: 04:26
useoafio Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
useoafio · 2014-05-21: 09:28
gyqtibco Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
gyqtibco · 2014-05-21: 15:00
pnafrfmy Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
pnafrfmy · 2014-05-22: 01:58
uxcbyohs Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
uxcbyohs · 2014-05-22: 02:11
axzzjvwp Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
axzzjvwp · 2014-05-22: 23:40
cqgnrztd An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
cqgnrztd · 2014-05-23: 09:57
uazfcrcr If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
uazfcrcr · 2014-05-23: 10:28
jrthxijp There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
jrthxijp · 2014-05-23: 20:51
ocftkejd 2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
ocftkejd · 2014-05-24: 02:50
uoyspoiw We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
uoyspoiw · 2014-05-24: 07:21
iznbenem Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
iznbenem · 2014-05-24: 17:48
kkikczvr I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
kkikczvr · 2014-05-24: 18:10
pvmaszzo Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
pvmaszzo · 2014-05-25: 04:22
tpbebbpn The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
tpbebbpn · 2014-05-25: 09:36
uufzayzz The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
uufzayzz · 2014-05-25: 14:43
yokciuqi Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
yokciuqi · 2014-05-26: 01:24
sypxyvcx Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
sypxyvcx · 2014-05-26: 11:29
jmabgsfk Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
jmabgsfk · 2014-05-26: 16:04
ncufnacj How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
ncufnacj · 2014-05-26: 21:42
itliutmd The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
itliutmd · 2014-05-27: 07:53
qszzqseq The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
qszzqseq · 2014-05-27: 20:38
gqnwudwx Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
gqnwudwx · 2014-05-28: 03:00
fgvgeksb An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
fgvgeksb · 2014-05-29: 04:30
jjnnxtbe Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
jjnnxtbe · 2014-05-29: 11:34
ltwknpnn The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
ltwknpnn · 2014-05-30: 16:13
dsqeyhkh Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
dsqeyhkh · 2014-05-30: 20:17
upztfpue The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
upztfpue · 2014-05-31: 01:38
pvcjmmuu The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
pvcjmmuu · 2014-05-31: 09:57
kyeukivh Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
kyeukivh · 2014-05-31: 10:43
kyhtcmkg Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
kyhtcmkg · 2014-05-31: 19:40
djtoeqbg We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
djtoeqbg · 2014-06-01: 04:52
damakqjp Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
damakqjp · 2014-06-01: 13:59
alxrhxqt Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
alxrhxqt · 2014-06-01: 23:21
tjqeksxl The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
tjqeksxl · 2014-06-02: 07:21
spmzyuwt I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
spmzyuwt · 2014-06-05: 16:49
hvtsfoia The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
hvtsfoia · 2014-06-05: 21:46
flgfjpjr Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
flgfjpjr · 2014-06-06: 04:28
lgrufycv Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
lgrufycv · 2014-06-06: 15:26
kggionwv My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
kggionwv · 2014-06-07: 02:41
ztrfxkuj The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
ztrfxkuj · 2014-06-07: 07:12
atpksgux The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
atpksgux · 2014-06-07: 13:41
lusrhlyy Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
lusrhlyy · 2014-06-07: 23:43
rdwdwbso Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
rdwdwbso · 2014-06-08: 00:45
wmokcpji Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
wmokcpji · 2014-06-08: 11:44
biicmljw Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
biicmljw · 2014-06-08: 16:04
rxavxlzd Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
rxavxlzd · 2014-06-08: 22:34
nrjkwmsb Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
nrjkwmsb · 2014-06-09: 08:43
lrprupam If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
lrprupam · 2014-06-09: 09:42
qwcwiepj Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
qwcwiepj · 2014-06-09: 21:05
gqwprdcp Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
gqwprdcp · 2014-06-10: 08:04
xcmtcxkh A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.
xcmtcxkh · 2014-06-10: 19:22
msdmrulj The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
msdmrulj · 2014-06-10: 19:29
smstmvqu There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
smstmvqu · 2014-06-11: 06:47
notkgxsy Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
notkgxsy · 2014-06-11: 19:04
qdrnfpsm The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
qdrnfpsm · 2014-06-11: 23:37
twrordql Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
twrordql · 2014-06-12: 06:09
bdldzqfv Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
bdldzqfv · 2014-06-12: 16:25
qulqekjq Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
qulqekjq · 2014-06-12: 17:29
kqgkbxzf And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
kqgkbxzf · 2014-06-13: 04:09
wwluqrcp Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
wwluqrcp · 2014-06-13: 08:35
xltvswkd A camel is a horse designed by a committee
xltvswkd · 2014-06-14: 00:16
xcyzrwzx If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
xcyzrwzx · 2014-06-14: 01:05
vxesiqty Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
vxesiqty · 2014-06-16: 20:09
vdjezilg Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
vdjezilg · 2014-06-17: 17:11
esbqpsqh A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
esbqpsqh · 2014-06-17: 18:32
fldtczpv Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
fldtczpv · 2014-06-18: 05:31
etngnjka Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
etngnjka · 2014-06-18: 09:25
emzaarlb If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
emzaarlb · 2014-06-18: 17:55
jczfenpa The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
jczfenpa · 2014-06-19: 02:50
jbpqzwaf Black holes are where God divided by zero.
jbpqzwaf · 2014-06-19: 05:12
zjzvunva We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
zjzvunva · 2014-06-19: 16:44
irkxzxho Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
irkxzxho · 2014-06-19: 19:18
njexacco When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
njexacco · 2014-06-20: 04:08
lzueqyqz If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
lzueqyqz · 2014-06-20: 11:22
trdjpory I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
trdjpory · 2014-06-20: 15:25
fppamjyj There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
fppamjyj · 2014-06-21: 02:39
sueedwyh Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
sueedwyh · 2014-06-21: 03:41
udbhqjqc There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
udbhqjqc · 2014-06-21: 13:50
ughdkzen First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
ughdkzen · 2014-06-21: 19:57
nllderjr Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
nllderjr · 2014-06-22: 01:00
cahjxavi Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
cahjxavi · 2014-06-22: 11:47
hxjhhorf In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
hxjhhorf · 2014-06-22: 23:06
sialgnxc Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
sialgnxc · 2014-06-23: 03:36
zilyspjj We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
zilyspjj · 2014-06-23: 20:20
njnhdkok To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
njnhdkok · 2014-06-24: 08:44
jgwhdyjd The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
jgwhdyjd · 2014-06-24: 13:48
xodnpemp Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
xodnpemp · 2014-06-24: 20:17
rgytvhac In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
rgytvhac · 2014-06-25: 16:17
bhtbhevh I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
bhtbhevh · 2014-06-25: 21:00
xklvznqz We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
xklvznqz · 2014-06-26: 15:26
qmwmcnoj If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
qmwmcnoj · 2014-06-27: 05:03
ijedzizc Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
ijedzizc · 2014-06-28: 17:52
vybhqbjk I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
vybhqbjk · 2014-06-29: 18:42
lcrtdaeq O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
lcrtdaeq · 2014-06-30: 06:44
vehaapgn Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
vehaapgn · 2014-07-01: 07:02
vnbrdcap The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
vnbrdcap · 2014-07-01: 12:02
rebbgkwl It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
rebbgkwl · 2014-07-06: 04:33
gjorxsaf I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
gjorxsaf · 2014-07-06: 05:44
tashlwwm When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
tashlwwm · 2014-07-07: 20:21
germdotz The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
germdotz · 2014-07-08: 16:12
xtwsgtqu If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
xtwsgtqu · 2014-07-09: 03:21
ijpcjbwv A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
ijpcjbwv · 2014-07-09: 07:41
aoxsysnm Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
aoxsysnm · 2014-07-09: 23:13
atsdzeww You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
atsdzeww · 2014-07-09: 23:50
uizrjzom Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
uizrjzom · 2014-07-11: 07:20
eiqfywwk Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
eiqfywwk · 2014-07-11: 18:25
uxzfmxfz Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
uxzfmxfz · 2014-07-11: 22:50
mvbyzdyf The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
mvbyzdyf · 2014-07-12: 14:56
ghmpjanu My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
ghmpjanu · 2014-07-12: 16:03
gzikrxpf Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
gzikrxpf · 2014-07-13: 13:34
xtwvhpfu I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
xtwvhpfu · 2014-07-14: 00:15
goiyvugs If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
goiyvugs · 2014-07-14: 15:25
nplrwbmt I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
nplrwbmt · 2014-07-15: 08:46
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hello · 2014-08-20: 17:37
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payday loans · 2014-10-08: 02:31
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ysowvnai · 2014-10-26: 08:40
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