Tree

Looking at this tree and its branch going off sideways made me think about friends - old friends and what is happening to them.

Last week I had lunch with a couple of old friends - one delightful as ever the other has turned into someone who I really dont want to be seen with.

Isnt that awful? someone I have known for thirty years - indeed I am Godfather to one of his sons and here I am saying i dont want to be seen with him.

But I cant stand people being obnoxious - especially to waiters and waitresses in restaurants - I cant stand people who behave as if they were Colonel blimp and who have outdated views about everything from politics to communication.

And being loud, and unthinking and generally a pain ....

But what really is intresting is how does this happen - this individual was always a bit right wing - but it was more in a gentle nature - a bit of a characture really - rather than this tirade against anything and everything that is european or doesnt reflcet his extreme views on Britishness and conservative politics!

And I could not help wondering what had happened in his life - his family and surroundings that had turned him from being amusing company to a bigot! What frustrations there were that made him like this - and how little he must have in his life to want to have to make such an idiot of himself.

interestingly he hasnt rung since - so maybe he sensed my displeasure ....

and on the other hand I have this long-standing female friend who I hardly ever see or hear from. The opposite really, here is someone I used to be so close to, who now only sends bland messages and never says what she feels or thinks. And I find that equally sad - it is as if she is breaking off the branch. Ok we were never lovers but we were intimate friends and I still feel close to her - but she is just rejecting any attempt to converse, to come and visit, to do anything other that the banal. And when I send emails saying how much I care about her and her life - not emotionally - just caring friendship - all I get back is 'Im so busy' 'the children are demanding' etc - no attempt to talk about feelings or self even - just cold - very cold - replies.

And I guess that in both cases there are things in their lives that make them react in this way. But what is really interesting is the way people develop - I know Ive changed a lot recently, but I think my spirit - my path - and my core persona have remained the same. I may be more balanced about my life but its still the same me it was 30 years ago.

In their case neither of them seems to me to be the same person they were even 5 years ago -..........

maybe more later.....