Day 115: The Day Two Friends Signed Their Own Death Warrants

What you see here is what is left after a singing gorilla in a pink tutu shows up at the restaurant you're having a belated birthday dinner with 13 friends and feeds you a banana, gives you a pink feather boa, sings a variety of songs, bounces up and down several times, kisses you, and then tosses giant confetti all over you and your table and gets said confetti on your plate and, worst of all, in your wine glass, at the exact moment that you want to drain your wine glass in one big gulp.

Alternatively, this is what's left when two of your best friends decide to make this already memorable birthday even more memorable. And they entertain an entire restaurant at the same time. And sign their own death warrants. I have two months until one of their birthdays, five until the other birthday.

Must. Take. Revenge.

Any ideas? One of them lives 350 miles away.