Crosswalks and other hazards of Northwestern living

I've realized there are a lot of hazards involved in moving to a new place, and especially here. I will outline some that I've encountered. The first being spiders. There are quite a few of them, most being larger than the amicable Michigan-variety that don't make an audible crunch when you crush them in a tissue. It used to be that I only worried about walking into a spider web when in a forest-- now I check for those whisper-thin threads when leaving the apartment, getting into Ben's car, or using the elliptical machine in our apartment workout room. Take any two stable structures less than 5 feet apart and it's likely a spider is building a web between them. Could be either side of a steering wheel. Could be a door handle and the door. In fact, I always just assume a spider is there. It's better to check than get a spider the size of your palm nibbling on you.

Another thing I have to watch out for is walking in on spider sex. Indeed, at first I thought these two spiders were having a fabulous battle, but then I realized those frantic lunges and violent scurries were fueled by lust, not rage... or something. But how cool to see two spiders mating. Certainly not something I've ever seen before. I suppose if you've got more spiders, there's a bigger chance of something like that happening, though.

This little guy was devouring this leaf voraciously. I could literally hear the crunching. Seattle will probably be destroyed by a Mothra-style monster in a couple of weeks or so.

Another beast that will soon take to the sky and wreak havoc on all humanity. Except that it seemed to be unable to figure out how to get off the fence pole.

Boaters should steer clear of these old pier remains. According to a nearby historical plaque, they've been here since the early 1900's. I suppose it'd be too much trouble to slosh around in the marsh and take them out? That and battling the ducks, who seem to gain both stature and a heady pride from standing on them.

Because pride is something the ducks are very concerned about. All the time.

The posts have been around so long they're supporting their own ecosystems.

This isn't really a hazard. Unless you feel wary of beautiful, autumn leaf-covered boardwalks.

The picture doesn't do this justice, but this parking lot gradient has got to be about 50 degrees. Just how does one park here? And why hasn't that minivan just tipped over and rolled down the hill?

Bridal trade shows. Enough said.

Strange girls in panda shirts wearing strange expressions are another danger to watch for. Unless said girls are actually fun and know Charlie the Unicorn references.

Is this really just a keyboard for typing in names at a bowling alley?

This sign instructs mullet-wearing children to keep fingers away from the ball return. The catfish that inhabit such nooks love mullet-wearing children fingers.

Finally, a word about crosswalks. Here, they're not just for intersections. You can find them at regular intervals spanning four-lane roads, or anyplace that people might want to get across quickly, especially near bus stops. They're really convenient; however, placing a pedestrian crossing 100 yards from any stop sign or light means you have to get cars to stop some other way. Apparently they've been having some trouble with this.

Then you pick up an orange flag stuck in a nearby holder and wave it around while crossing the street. You receive some lengthy instruction on this.

Here the flags look a little different and the holder bears an encouraging message.