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Menjamu Selera

2009.07.27
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458 Comments
rdfxtbyf dnjadnz3118, <a href="http://www.epygfnejim.com/">iwfsycckuz</a>
rdfxtbyf · 2014-01-19: 00:07
rppyvvwn If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
rppyvvwn · 2014-01-19: 00:22
kbuuaxuj All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
kbuuaxuj · 2014-01-19: 06:50
thtdxgoe The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
thtdxgoe · 2014-01-26: 10:57
rlhyhvuw War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
rlhyhvuw · 2014-01-26: 13:43
ychgylzr Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
ychgylzr · 2014-01-26: 17:06
esgqetvz Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
esgqetvz · 2014-01-26: 23:15
aojikghs All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
aojikghs · 2014-01-26: 23:18
mqkeezpk Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
mqkeezpk · 2014-01-27: 05:19
iavxgzwi What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
iavxgzwi · 2014-01-27: 08:24
voumpiqe [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
voumpiqe · 2014-01-27: 12:31
vxleehsn It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
vxleehsn · 2014-01-27: 19:46
jcwtxyud He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
jcwtxyud · 2014-01-28: 01:40
vgibqqsv I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
vgibqqsv · 2014-01-28: 08:01
jyqxmhul A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
jyqxmhul · 2014-01-28: 15:18
vwnzshtd The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
vwnzshtd · 2014-01-28: 15:19
iospspow ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
iospspow · 2014-01-28: 21:53
bkhiykjg Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
bkhiykjg · 2014-01-29: 01:09
lwrkoign You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
lwrkoign · 2014-01-29: 04:07
kodyiefw We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
kodyiefw · 2014-01-29: 10:06
cacjizqq 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
cacjizqq · 2014-01-29: 10:20
btdoumnr The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
btdoumnr · 2014-01-29: 17:53
gguzwioi If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
gguzwioi · 2014-01-29: 21:33
wsogcwco Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
wsogcwco · 2014-01-30: 19:01
loipvttd Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
loipvttd · 2014-01-30: 21:48
ndhlczrz Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
ndhlczrz · 2014-01-31: 01:36
tckyksvk Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
tckyksvk · 2014-01-31: 07:12
aohwtryd There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
aohwtryd · 2014-01-31: 14:07
jkudgjqf When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
jkudgjqf · 2014-02-01: 13:19
cpjljjwr It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
cpjljjwr · 2014-02-01: 16:27
szcownwq O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
szcownwq · 2014-02-01: 20:24
xbztunll All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
xbztunll · 2014-02-02: 02:06
dpjmenlw Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
dpjmenlw · 2014-02-02: 02:49
xfzhlwon They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
xfzhlwon · 2014-02-02: 08:58
rlwpdjdj Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
rlwpdjdj · 2014-02-02: 14:50
cwzjkasr If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
cwzjkasr · 2014-02-02: 20:35
gwnxbsrh Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
gwnxbsrh · 2014-02-03: 02:28
mjyzkhvj If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
mjyzkhvj · 2014-02-03: 08:45
payobsqf Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
payobsqf · 2014-02-03: 23:47
ifrdaddo I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
ifrdaddo · 2014-02-04: 01:36
yfuhszya Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
yfuhszya · 2014-02-04: 05:55
gfwqjmzz My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
gfwqjmzz · 2014-02-04: 11:08
lexoyqtb Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
lexoyqtb · 2014-02-04: 12:16
wxwdkdek Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
wxwdkdek · 2014-02-04: 18:55
eaygjjzi Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
eaygjjzi · 2014-02-05: 01:04
rjpxkjqi Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
rjpxkjqi · 2014-02-05: 06:15
lcejcsyj Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
lcejcsyj · 2014-02-05: 07:30
awfexpga DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
awfexpga · 2014-02-05: 15:08
bzarjxtc Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
bzarjxtc · 2014-02-05: 17:25
mhmtqrjn TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
mhmtqrjn · 2014-02-05: 23:02
jdqyhtpi When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
jdqyhtpi · 2014-02-06: 10:01
tgjchafh Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
tgjchafh · 2014-02-06: 12:35
smfklnkn Men have become the tools of their tools.
smfklnkn · 2014-02-06: 23:48
mgjxeguj You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
mgjxeguj · 2014-02-07: 00:28
jxyzvjeb If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
jxyzvjeb · 2014-02-07: 07:18
mdfdrgwu Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
mdfdrgwu · 2014-02-07: 10:09
cuaqcckd Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
cuaqcckd · 2014-02-07: 15:14
xfpqfjkt I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
xfpqfjkt · 2014-02-07: 21:27
cxlpdqen I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
cxlpdqen · 2014-02-07: 22:15
jqhryqpw I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
jqhryqpw · 2014-02-08: 04:57
fgzmauzy Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
fgzmauzy · 2014-02-08: 07:52
jofzgbvq To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
jofzgbvq · 2014-02-08: 18:43
pzfgeyfo One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
pzfgeyfo · 2014-02-08: 18:47
pvyakjmd I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
pvyakjmd · 2014-02-09: 01:22
nemgllfx Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
nemgllfx · 2014-02-09: 05:12
nmwwjvqp An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
nmwwjvqp · 2014-02-09: 07:58
rqsutqzu If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
rqsutqzu · 2014-02-09: 15:12
ecihzpif Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
ecihzpif · 2014-02-09: 16:14
vetijxiw The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
vetijxiw · 2014-02-09: 22:33
hgwgvrvl You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
hgwgvrvl · 2014-02-10: 16:16
klmezyiy Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
klmezyiy · 2014-02-10: 21:11
zhkqnpfa UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
zhkqnpfa · 2014-02-11: 04:31
qsxicthp A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
qsxicthp · 2014-02-11: 12:14
tsgfgwry It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
tsgfgwry · 2014-02-11: 16:20
zcyzidch Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
zcyzidch · 2014-02-12: 04:10
cwzjkasr The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
cwzjkasr · 2014-02-12: 04:46
brasranf Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
brasranf · 2014-02-12: 13:41
tyuluoqx The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
tyuluoqx · 2014-02-13: 02:25
ndyyzvpd A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
ndyyzvpd · 2014-02-13: 11:43
haeewhus Black holes are where God divided by zero.
haeewhus · 2014-02-14: 13:01
ljolyncr Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
ljolyncr · 2014-02-17: 15:32
whthfjsv Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
whthfjsv · 2014-02-17: 18:14
pxlejqmg Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
pxlejqmg · 2014-02-18: 04:40
twhllerb All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
twhllerb · 2014-02-18: 15:49
jxkphxxi > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
jxkphxxi · 2014-02-18: 20:27
ouxvasvn My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
ouxvasvn · 2014-02-19: 02:53
onadqjxz A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
onadqjxz · 2014-02-19: 03:48
wwnzaohv I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
wwnzaohv · 2014-02-19: 10:44
pwbpivig I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
pwbpivig · 2014-02-19: 19:08
dmblwdfl God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
dmblwdfl · 2014-02-20: 02:17
knwivrea It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
knwivrea · 2014-02-20: 02:22
cyzmgnqe The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
cyzmgnqe · 2014-02-20: 15:30
uefoctih My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
uefoctih · 2014-02-21: 05:36
gbavzbxw Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
gbavzbxw · 2014-02-21: 06:17
rfiuvnyr I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
rfiuvnyr · 2014-02-21: 17:00
xjsqdihs Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
xjsqdihs · 2014-02-21: 21:48
eaxwzquf It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
eaxwzquf · 2014-02-22: 04:32
nuvnajpk I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
nuvnajpk · 2014-02-22: 05:05
dbcwfrkf It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
dbcwfrkf · 2014-02-22: 20:11
gcqeioej If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
gcqeioej · 2014-02-23: 03:39
njtchggd A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
njtchggd · 2014-02-23: 11:20
jdijkgau We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
jdijkgau · 2014-02-23: 14:11
gdfzftpg The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
gdfzftpg · 2014-02-23: 18:41
japdyhuv The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
japdyhuv · 2014-02-24: 00:59
qhcjfhxw Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
qhcjfhxw · 2014-02-24: 01:41
xmllgojo It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
xmllgojo · 2014-02-24: 09:10
zfxtvshb Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
zfxtvshb · 2014-02-24: 12:26
oddcbwji Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
oddcbwji · 2014-02-24: 17:43
rgrexulo Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
rgrexulo · 2014-02-25: 01:07
wtaowhej In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
wtaowhej · 2014-02-25: 01:40
eqfjvwfw Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
eqfjvwfw · 2014-02-25: 09:03
fzzkdfsg No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
fzzkdfsg · 2014-02-25: 13:04
ykstqixe Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
ykstqixe · 2014-02-25: 17:25
wxykojwi When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
wxykojwi · 2014-02-26: 00:47
nradlagm I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
nradlagm · 2014-02-26: 01:40
ixcnzvor Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
ixcnzvor · 2014-02-26: 07:53
isskhrhp Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
isskhrhp · 2014-02-26: 14:09
yzoysdga All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
yzoysdga · 2014-02-26: 15:54
mfbvfeak If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
mfbvfeak · 2014-02-26: 23:37
cqptdkfs He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
cqptdkfs · 2014-02-27: 03:27
pdmmzhkj Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
pdmmzhkj · 2014-02-27: 07:32
uulhtfwp My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
uulhtfwp · 2014-02-27: 16:46
ehmzmmdf I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
ehmzmmdf · 2014-02-28: 05:43
hrfxosoq Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
hrfxosoq · 2014-02-28: 07:10
vlizrsaa The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
vlizrsaa · 2014-03-01: 00:31
mdzssmmz We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
mdzssmmz · 2014-03-01: 08:56
nglcywar All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
nglcywar · 2014-03-01: 10:54
toumxbnu Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
toumxbnu · 2014-03-01: 19:03
jkljzavl A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
jkljzavl · 2014-03-01: 22:08
dhstuegt He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
dhstuegt · 2014-03-02: 03:17
xyxrhvyz Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
xyxrhvyz · 2014-03-02: 10:26
lpftjcrj How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
lpftjcrj · 2014-03-02: 11:35
pmbnvlew If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
pmbnvlew · 2014-03-02: 19:49
xnxrvikp Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
xnxrvikp · 2014-03-02: 22:43
xsnpveuf You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
xsnpveuf · 2014-03-03: 04:15
lhmjlvpf The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
lhmjlvpf · 2014-03-03: 11:44
czymghco The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
czymghco · 2014-03-03: 13:08
whbwyzwp Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
whbwyzwp · 2014-03-03: 22:04
siuaagka A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
siuaagka · 2014-03-04: 07:18
yywjytvg The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
yywjytvg · 2014-03-04: 14:02
whiyxbrn I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
whiyxbrn · 2014-03-04: 17:03
cgoqdnar Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
cgoqdnar · 2014-03-05: 02:17
qmopprhk Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
qmopprhk · 2014-03-05: 03:13
hvcbsvjp I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
hvcbsvjp · 2014-03-05: 12:06
sdweseht Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
sdweseht · 2014-03-05: 22:00
sgtfqvpm Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
sgtfqvpm · 2014-03-06: 06:25
kfwhyhmy If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
kfwhyhmy · 2014-03-06: 19:30
xozqnmzo The truth is more important than the facts.
xozqnmzo · 2014-03-07: 02:32
tqdgkbet And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
tqdgkbet · 2014-03-07: 09:31
ohzhfzeg The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
ohzhfzeg · 2014-03-07: 12:30
cqjoowjw The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
cqjoowjw · 2014-03-07: 21:42
moacotgm Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
moacotgm · 2014-03-07: 23:28
idthzwih Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
idthzwih · 2014-03-08: 06:44
qjopywks The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
qjopywks · 2014-03-08: 13:26
snjarpwn Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
snjarpwn · 2014-03-08: 16:12
idlkhdqn Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
idlkhdqn · 2014-03-09: 01:17
wwpqcjej I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
wwpqcjej · 2014-03-09: 16:31
uzoemltt A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
uzoemltt · 2014-03-10: 04:59
kdkbfrac I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
kdkbfrac · 2014-03-10: 05:50
hhyvtdqp Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
hhyvtdqp · 2014-03-10: 18:37
mexeabol Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
mexeabol · 2014-03-11: 07:31
vkhblbms [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
vkhblbms · 2014-03-11: 08:21
tlngijfe A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
tlngijfe · 2014-03-11: 20:48
jugirvhy Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
jugirvhy · 2014-03-12: 02:00
ldfnafpn Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
ldfnafpn · 2014-03-12: 11:52
tsnlgubw I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
tsnlgubw · 2014-03-12: 12:53
tzsnrlmg To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
tzsnrlmg · 2014-03-12: 23:24
xemhdmqr Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
xemhdmqr · 2014-03-13: 03:47
fhmmxbxi Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
fhmmxbxi · 2014-03-13: 09:11
mssbwmuo Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
mssbwmuo · 2014-03-13: 20:17
fvjntjuy The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
fvjntjuy · 2014-03-13: 22:06
tsgfgwry Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
tsgfgwry · 2014-03-14: 06:46
lfqjkwjq Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
lfqjkwjq · 2014-03-14: 17:53
ycppksbg Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
ycppksbg · 2014-03-15: 04:16
qpatossy Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
qpatossy · 2014-03-15: 14:53
otaexysj Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
otaexysj · 2014-03-16: 01:35
eojbqxuy The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
eojbqxuy · 2014-03-16: 08:42
joyugdks Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
joyugdks · 2014-03-16: 12:08
pfbykksh Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
pfbykksh · 2014-03-16: 22:43
joubvhyx Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
joubvhyx · 2014-03-17: 04:00
zkmjrizt Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
zkmjrizt · 2014-03-17: 09:21
bcvojuwd The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
bcvojuwd · 2014-03-18: 00:03
btvcrjlv There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
btvcrjlv · 2014-03-18: 07:30
zonolnzk Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
zonolnzk · 2014-03-19: 00:40
irfxjvdv Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
irfxjvdv · 2014-03-20: 09:49
whszbday The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
whszbday · 2014-03-20: 19:54
jodlypku Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
jodlypku · 2014-03-20: 22:52
pabajikb Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
pabajikb · 2014-03-21: 04:41
wbfbouib Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
wbfbouib · 2014-03-21: 12:16
qedqtssc There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
qedqtssc · 2014-03-21: 22:01
uaxootgq A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
uaxootgq · 2014-03-22: 01:01
zrjvqmki I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
zrjvqmki · 2014-03-22: 13:31
pxqezrry > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
pxqezrry · 2014-03-23: 16:43
paxunydf Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
paxunydf · 2014-03-23: 19:37
lvdabwat My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
lvdabwat · 2014-03-25: 21:48
ruuxlyjk So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
ruuxlyjk · 2014-03-26: 04:24
zsqbuarl My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
zsqbuarl · 2014-03-27: 12:41
quldpydt Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
quldpydt · 2014-03-27: 18:41
kfjxwzgr The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
kfjxwzgr · 2014-03-28: 07:29
yedxnidi If you are going through hell, keep going.
yedxnidi · 2014-03-28: 21:39
jzcggtwg A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
jzcggtwg · 2014-03-29: 12:20
mtrudkcd When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
mtrudkcd · 2014-03-30: 02:23
vrreiwra Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
vrreiwra · 2014-03-30: 06:13
bodqtkfm It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
bodqtkfm · 2014-03-31: 19:25
xfnoimua They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
xfnoimua · 2014-03-31: 22:12
lckqrcje I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
lckqrcje · 2014-04-01: 03:59
mgndaqcg Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
mgndaqcg · 2014-04-01: 11:44
lodlpwoe The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
lodlpwoe · 2014-04-01: 13:15
qruzawnn Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
qruzawnn · 2014-04-01: 22:16
uulhtfwp I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
uulhtfwp · 2014-04-02: 07:18
cqlngayv If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
cqlngayv · 2014-04-02: 17:08
kgzqaega If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
kgzqaega · 2014-04-03: 02:12
mlabxyiu That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
mlabxyiu · 2014-04-03: 04:52
qgmavurj I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
qgmavurj · 2014-04-03: 11:34
bqzkxukz Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
bqzkxukz · 2014-04-03: 21:14
outmzpnv If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
outmzpnv · 2014-04-04: 19:05
qzodnxbs The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
qzodnxbs · 2014-04-05: 05:21
voyjrzeg If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
voyjrzeg · 2014-04-05: 10:29
zmmwsxfe If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
zmmwsxfe · 2014-04-06: 02:47
nuabazoe The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
nuabazoe · 2014-04-06: 05:56
vgxmqpzf The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
vgxmqpzf · 2014-04-06: 13:05
rkxwrpkz Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
rkxwrpkz · 2014-04-06: 23:43
tjqvldsv The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
tjqvldsv · 2014-04-07: 01:38
fwtskltv After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
fwtskltv · 2014-04-07: 21:29
bcocqaij There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
bcocqaij · 2014-04-08: 07:46
nwgcbetj Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
nwgcbetj · 2014-04-08: 19:02
byjnkpap We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
byjnkpap · 2014-04-09: 05:47
daydisxy It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
daydisxy · 2014-04-09: 17:02
yvoxqejv Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
yvoxqejv · 2014-04-10: 13:04
cziqmgby They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
cziqmgby · 2014-04-13: 02:59
uspnkyfh Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
uspnkyfh · 2014-04-13: 14:17
witwwkad If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
witwwkad · 2014-04-13: 17:11
xgefvfsl Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
xgefvfsl · 2014-04-14: 00:15
fvnwulcq You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
fvnwulcq · 2014-04-14: 08:00
pcembbfk Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
pcembbfk · 2014-04-14: 10:43
wxyxzyql Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
wxyxzyql · 2014-04-14: 21:59
mccupjcs A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
mccupjcs · 2014-04-15: 08:41
slkamzyh There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
slkamzyh · 2014-04-15: 15:51
zeaphjkv Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
zeaphjkv · 2014-04-15: 20:09
icqvgcoy I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
icqvgcoy · 2014-04-16: 06:35
hhtitnru Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
hhtitnru · 2014-04-16: 07:23
wivlewkz Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
wivlewkz · 2014-04-16: 18:11
nuujxzml Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
nuujxzml · 2014-04-16: 23:59
jzhgwuby Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
jzhgwuby · 2014-04-17: 15:38
cytfmgto Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
cytfmgto · 2014-04-17: 15:52
mwmujagx Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
mwmujagx · 2014-04-18: 02:47
cstnzjsz We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
cstnzjsz · 2014-04-18: 07:15
apahwejp A camel is a horse designed by a committee
apahwejp · 2014-04-18: 13:45
vlizrsaa Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
vlizrsaa · 2014-04-18: 23:09
pcdfxwnn I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
pcdfxwnn · 2014-04-19: 00:43
atqehahx Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
atqehahx · 2014-04-19: 12:00
odipbmid Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
odipbmid · 2014-04-19: 15:15
qipwcccq Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
qipwcccq · 2014-04-19: 22:51
aguhzgns The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
aguhzgns · 2014-04-20: 06:19
ersjsdef Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
ersjsdef · 2014-04-20: 08:59
uqpcpcbr A camel is a horse designed by a committee
uqpcpcbr · 2014-04-20: 19:22
dkekjrxe In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
dkekjrxe · 2014-04-21: 12:44
zelxqrle Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
zelxqrle · 2014-04-22: 03:43
autayigx The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
autayigx · 2014-04-22: 04:31
scvtimcq We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
scvtimcq · 2014-04-22: 15:41
zpwviblm Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
zpwviblm · 2014-04-22: 22:05
xchtnwfp Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
xchtnwfp · 2014-04-23: 03:13
ktvmhyaf A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
ktvmhyaf · 2014-04-23: 14:29
oiaufokq One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
oiaufokq · 2014-04-24: 01:17
eakmyhoy In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
eakmyhoy · 2014-04-24: 11:47
psidanov War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
psidanov · 2014-04-24: 14:54
sffioxdv If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
sffioxdv · 2014-04-24: 22:18
havxlwid The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
havxlwid · 2014-04-25: 06:26
ncjakkbv Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
ncjakkbv · 2014-04-25: 08:39
jrhskupj Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
jrhskupj · 2014-04-26: 14:06
jfxogjqr Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
jfxogjqr · 2014-04-26: 16:27
wmvmkrtz If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
wmvmkrtz · 2014-04-27: 02:57
nnuhakgt Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
nnuhakgt · 2014-04-27: 05:46
mzncdavo Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
mzncdavo · 2014-04-27: 13:11
nsztgzyo People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
nsztgzyo · 2014-04-27: 21:09
acyqkoxr The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
acyqkoxr · 2014-04-27: 23:05
mnapynoe I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
mnapynoe · 2014-04-28: 09:05
iuvwakcy The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
iuvwakcy · 2014-04-29: 03:45
vxrspgfk A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
vxrspgfk · 2014-04-29: 05:31
icotjgyf If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
icotjgyf · 2014-04-29: 19:32
ghlvqjpy I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
ghlvqjpy · 2014-04-30: 02:22
ldegwzxp God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
ldegwzxp · 2014-04-30: 10:31
isdlsgth A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
isdlsgth · 2014-04-30: 12:32
mgqzmhez You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
mgqzmhez · 2014-04-30: 22:51
xmokytyn Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
xmokytyn · 2014-05-01: 02:00
jcfzijgs Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
jcfzijgs · 2014-05-01: 17:24
yhgkgwkb All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
yhgkgwkb · 2014-05-01: 19:23
pcclibbm Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
pcclibbm · 2014-05-02: 08:09
xenyrlns The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
xenyrlns · 2014-05-02: 16:51
otfemzwb Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
otfemzwb · 2014-05-03: 19:05
tnizecuw We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
tnizecuw · 2014-05-04: 02:24
nsvdaqyz The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
nsvdaqyz · 2014-05-04: 10:41
eynxpdld I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
eynxpdld · 2014-05-04: 12:22
breynkuc Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
breynkuc · 2014-05-04: 22:46
jfrgndtb I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
jfrgndtb · 2014-05-05: 02:00
qkoczlpc Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
qkoczlpc · 2014-05-05: 08:32
mvwlznzk Humor is just another defense against the universe.
mvwlznzk · 2014-05-05: 18:27
klvabqpk I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
klvabqpk · 2014-05-06: 06:23
nqonnjmt Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
nqonnjmt · 2014-05-06: 09:34
hauqgqqf Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
hauqgqqf · 2014-05-06: 19:58
hypmayyv A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
hypmayyv · 2014-05-07: 03:17
fyyjgorc Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
fyyjgorc · 2014-05-07: 12:20
zjjwzpek A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
zjjwzpek · 2014-05-07: 14:48
ikhgiipj Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
ikhgiipj · 2014-05-08: 01:37
rkstbrqh Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
rkstbrqh · 2014-05-08: 04:31
gnldfbnc The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
gnldfbnc · 2014-05-08: 12:18
bfmisatb Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
bfmisatb · 2014-05-08: 20:42
rilqcvjy There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
rilqcvjy · 2014-05-09: 09:23
powdnmst It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
powdnmst · 2014-05-09: 13:34
qmmlbhqu They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
qmmlbhqu · 2014-05-10: 06:21
rhpzzcgv Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
rhpzzcgv · 2014-05-10: 18:18
alxewjvr Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
alxewjvr · 2014-05-10: 23:45
gdkxfitb Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
gdkxfitb · 2014-05-11: 05:18
mbgkqvrn Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
mbgkqvrn · 2014-05-11: 16:09
jmtjrjpp A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
jmtjrjpp · 2014-05-12: 02:46
jtdwodyw A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
jtdwodyw · 2014-05-12: 09:44
qpvtdnzb Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
qpvtdnzb · 2014-05-13: 01:40
vfoftaoe Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
vfoftaoe · 2014-05-13: 03:53
xmqjqxnm Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
xmqjqxnm · 2014-05-13: 12:40
uwvlpyss Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
uwvlpyss · 2014-05-13: 15:57
ukjdjycm Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
ukjdjycm · 2014-05-14: 08:33
igdwehkm The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
igdwehkm · 2014-05-14: 11:28
yusplzkh The covers of this book are too far apart.
yusplzkh · 2014-05-15: 00:42
ztbwdxze Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
ztbwdxze · 2014-05-15: 08:18
iomowbhw In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
iomowbhw · 2014-05-15: 16:48
uadgrshj Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
uadgrshj · 2014-05-16: 05:45
kxdagnxz I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
kxdagnxz · 2014-05-16: 08:23
mvmgilan Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
mvmgilan · 2014-05-17: 03:09
rqshiber Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
rqshiber · 2014-05-17: 13:45
tkpkgclx It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
tkpkgclx · 2014-05-17: 16:25
ldtldcbe Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
ldtldcbe · 2014-05-17: 23:59
lkynptmo Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
lkynptmo · 2014-05-18: 07:12
ipsmrtzw I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
ipsmrtzw · 2014-05-18: 09:49
mbphsoyz Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
mbphsoyz · 2014-05-18: 19:37
mnhumcka Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
mnhumcka · 2014-05-18: 21:50
rqzzlbgk All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
rqzzlbgk · 2014-05-19: 05:14
xyvmemvb I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
xyvmemvb · 2014-05-19: 20:29
tgaikazp Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
tgaikazp · 2014-05-20: 03:51
oquytpyv Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
oquytpyv · 2014-05-20: 12:25
zycipobm Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
zycipobm · 2014-05-20: 14:44
hjpzxbhi Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
hjpzxbhi · 2014-05-21: 01:23
avjtrosn It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
avjtrosn · 2014-05-21: 04:39
wrqkaohh Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
wrqkaohh · 2014-05-21: 11:55
lnkdnesr When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
lnkdnesr · 2014-05-21: 21:14
wyyypycs It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
wyyypycs · 2014-05-21: 22:49
nyyniibb We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
nyyniibb · 2014-05-22: 09:01
axgyqaqg It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
axgyqaqg · 2014-05-23: 05:36
zkjxktex I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
zkjxktex · 2014-05-23: 22:10
gplhwrat Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
gplhwrat · 2014-05-24: 04:19
xnmgzatu We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
xnmgzatu · 2014-05-24: 14:38
chgnkccx UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
chgnkccx · 2014-05-25: 01:22
xamqhkmu I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
xamqhkmu · 2014-05-25: 05:06
piozivcl When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
piozivcl · 2014-05-25: 11:46
rnswwfou If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
rnswwfou · 2014-05-25: 20:33
aabbxmja Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
aabbxmja · 2014-05-26: 08:25
orrmqrbe Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
orrmqrbe · 2014-05-26: 18:40
clexczox Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
clexczox · 2014-05-27: 02:38
jlaofdza I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
jlaofdza · 2014-05-27: 04:54
duswyjhv The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
duswyjhv · 2014-05-27: 15:12
izzomiwy I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
izzomiwy · 2014-05-29: 01:54
oqphbdyt If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
oqphbdyt · 2014-05-30: 06:37
dgyoyaxl We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
dgyoyaxl · 2014-05-30: 12:56
cagfuqsk The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
cagfuqsk · 2014-05-30: 16:09
wyvmiihw DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
wyvmiihw · 2014-05-30: 22:40
bhybwfaz Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
bhybwfaz · 2014-05-31: 08:03
afydlxpm Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
afydlxpm · 2014-05-31: 16:52
rwqugfpf The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
rwqugfpf · 2014-05-31: 20:07
kthswxpv It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
kthswxpv · 2014-06-01: 11:18
ylimjoiu First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
ylimjoiu · 2014-06-01: 11:18
swunndqf To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
swunndqf · 2014-06-01: 20:36
njnemond It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
njnemond · 2014-06-02: 18:29
qdzmyeaf Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
qdzmyeaf · 2014-06-02: 23:02
zzhfdtre Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
zzhfdtre · 2014-06-03: 06:09
lwjighxw What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
lwjighxw · 2014-06-05: 13:02
gjnxebck Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
gjnxebck · 2014-06-05: 16:48
akbxdnlg The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
akbxdnlg · 2014-06-06: 01:20
qcjqdczp I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
qcjqdczp · 2014-06-06: 09:41
cvwzxukn Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
cvwzxukn · 2014-06-06: 12:17
yibhqzpj I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
yibhqzpj · 2014-06-06: 23:32
faaltfeo Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
faaltfeo · 2014-06-07: 02:37
czmjxbot The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
czmjxbot · 2014-06-07: 10:38
jqzfczph A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
jqzfczph · 2014-06-07: 19:02
cfcuynet If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
cfcuynet · 2014-06-07: 21:38
wtrvwlmw It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
wtrvwlmw · 2014-06-08: 08:41
flbrjzkw I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
flbrjzkw · 2014-06-08: 11:32
upsvkxce I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
upsvkxce · 2014-06-09: 03:59
akzwgqvn War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
akzwgqvn · 2014-06-09: 06:29
sssykhml I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
sssykhml · 2014-06-09: 17:43
ovddfdsq Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
ovddfdsq · 2014-06-09: 21:03
nfgmstor If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
nfgmstor · 2014-06-10: 04:58
cuglhybv It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
cuglhybv · 2014-06-10: 14:14
vaprienj That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
vaprienj · 2014-06-11: 03:42
qkuxdhgv Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
qkuxdhgv · 2014-06-11: 08:01
tmcbfnqa They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
tmcbfnqa · 2014-06-11: 18:59
vdpzhbou Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
vdpzhbou · 2014-06-12: 03:01
raisoydh There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
raisoydh · 2014-06-12: 14:22
lnqywxvf A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
lnqywxvf · 2014-06-13: 01:07
ghwtadmr The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
ghwtadmr · 2014-06-13: 04:03
vdxmzvcn Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
vdxmzvcn · 2014-06-13: 11:48
yonopjlf What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
yonopjlf · 2014-06-13: 20:03
qhmxuybj I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
qhmxuybj · 2014-06-14: 08:54
btlerzcf The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
btlerzcf · 2014-06-14: 11:32
snjarpwn Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
snjarpwn · 2014-06-14: 18:41
jpnjxztk I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
jpnjxztk · 2014-06-16: 20:09
mirxxpon The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
mirxxpon · 2014-06-17: 03:54
qkktyjhl Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
qkktyjhl · 2014-06-17: 12:29
uyqikeym I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
uyqikeym · 2014-06-17: 15:11
xninoega First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
xninoega · 2014-06-18: 04:41
kpcreyny We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
kpcreyny · 2014-06-18: 13:57
mnxtmwml An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
mnxtmwml · 2014-06-18: 22:06
skyhiusj The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
skyhiusj · 2014-06-19: 02:07
nvbbmdor I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
nvbbmdor · 2014-06-19: 13:17
culbykbx I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
culbykbx · 2014-06-20: 01:04
gvdtkqsk From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
gvdtkqsk · 2014-06-20: 06:50
znekaxdu To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
znekaxdu · 2014-06-20: 12:04
sqqtvtja If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
sqqtvtja · 2014-06-20: 23:11
cznhdsbb There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
cznhdsbb · 2014-06-20: 23:33
oqwkafts Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
oqwkafts · 2014-06-21: 10:46
ibquqccq To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
ibquqccq · 2014-06-21: 15:21
delegxtm Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
delegxtm · 2014-06-22: 07:11
ppbdcnxl Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
ppbdcnxl · 2014-06-22: 20:00
szcownwq Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
szcownwq · 2014-06-22: 23:17
knyauzpe I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
knyauzpe · 2014-06-23: 06:45
goyenlmy Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
goyenlmy · 2014-06-23: 15:37
uddginfb I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
uddginfb · 2014-06-23: 18:16
okieiqjx The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
okieiqjx · 2014-06-24: 17:06
bxnqanug Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
bxnqanug · 2014-06-25: 04:34
tlngijfe Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
tlngijfe · 2014-06-25: 13:09
kyzetwvf Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
kyzetwvf · 2014-06-26: 00:31
fxoeomsg Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
fxoeomsg · 2014-06-26: 09:13
nsyznhat There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
nsyznhat · 2014-06-26: 11:59
tpfnohxr Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
tpfnohxr · 2014-06-28: 02:50
antphbhj All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
antphbhj · 2014-06-30: 03:23
ixcnzvor Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
ixcnzvor · 2014-06-30: 06:15
kqdopgxl The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
kqdopgxl · 2014-07-02: 16:32
hznibgtc In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
hznibgtc · 2014-07-04: 03:15
pxxghsap It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
pxxghsap · 2014-07-05: 02:16
clbbqhmd I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
clbbqhmd · 2014-07-05: 13:43
dedrodft Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
dedrodft · 2014-07-05: 23:27
lricbzwt The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
lricbzwt · 2014-07-07: 00:08
nadlirqg When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
nadlirqg · 2014-07-07: 20:10
qfwyujno It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
qfwyujno · 2014-07-08: 03:34
hdzcholv Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
hdzcholv · 2014-07-08: 11:34
jacnpqlj Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
jacnpqlj · 2014-07-09: 03:17
ggqszyhm A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
ggqszyhm · 2014-07-09: 10:39
ibjftpnc Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
ibjftpnc · 2014-07-09: 18:53
izjsdkwu One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
izjsdkwu · 2014-07-10: 07:08
yzaapfvj Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
yzaapfvj · 2014-07-10: 17:53
mrpffeup Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
mrpffeup · 2014-07-11: 18:10
thlwlvdp After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
thlwlvdp · 2014-07-12: 02:16
lcrtdaeq O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
lcrtdaeq · 2014-07-12: 23:46
zksqlpwj If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
zksqlpwj · 2014-07-13: 02:42
mtcsodzv When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
mtcsodzv · 2014-07-13: 10:38
hvedbwzv You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
hvedbwzv · 2014-07-13: 21:17
nrdpsqai Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
nrdpsqai · 2014-07-14: 10:40
nkojpxqb In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
nkojpxqb · 2014-07-14: 18:56
pkirtfda Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
pkirtfda · 2014-07-15: 03:04
pshjgwqz yiiennz3118, http://www.ogogxntckv.com/ otqcbbbhyo
pshjgwqz · 2014-10-26: 07:41
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