My family is self centered

So, today is the day Mike actually sets off on his journey. He had to leave yesterday to report back to base, pack, check in and check out his training and deployment equipment, etc. But, this is the day he embarks on his journey. And, it hit me real hard. Harder than yesterday, for some reason. I guess when he went to training and while I had the security of knowing he was on American soil, it was not as difficult. Now, knowing he is venturing off into unknown places and sketchy communication with me, I feel very, very anxious. My chest hurts like someone is sitting on it and tears are always being fought back. I suppose I'll feel better once he gets settled and gets involved in the mission. But, right now it's just an unsettled, anxious feeling I have. I suspect he feels the same way. So, today was not the best day for me. In fact, it's been the worst so far. To top if off, my mother who is not a nurturing or positive person decides to unleash one of her classic diatribes on me. As soon as the phone call starts, she begins to tell me how SHE feels which is not good (no, she isn't actually sick, she is just feeling "worn out"). Then, she starts complaining that I haven't given her Nick's t-ball schedule and.....I can't get into any more specifics because it was all very trivial. She's just beefing on and on about mundane things that aren't *really* important and could be discussed WITHOUT her being snarky, accusatory, practically yelling, lecturing and questioning me in a very disprespectful way. I realize she was in one of her classic "Moods" and also not feeling well.....but.....BUT.....I was absolutely the WRONG PERSON to be on the receiving end of that. ESPECIALLY today!!!! I would think any person that wasn't a complete narcissist would know that. Except my mother isn't aware of anyone else or how they feel. She only thinks about herself and so she went on and on without even giving me proper pause to explain myself or respond. It was a verbal assault. In the end, I had to hang up on her. I couldn't talk. I was choked up from already feeling very vulnerable and her caustic dialog was too much for me. I guess it's hard for me to explain how hateful my mom can be without it sounding like I'm exaggerating. But, I had such a bad day. I didn't take any pictures. I just tried to hold it together as much as I could around the kids. Thank God for them. They helped me in the evening to finish the yardwork, gather the trash and clean up the porch, house and yard. I love them so much! I'm so glad they are in my life and I will do my best to nuture them into being kind and compassionate people. :)
Bottom line is that we all miss Mike so much and it'll just take some time and patience and if you can't support us or be positive and understanding towards us then it's best you keep your own issues to yourselves. My plate is full.