Chasing these things...

I feel like I'm chasing something(s). I'm chasing understanding, friendships, an image, dreams I can't describe...

And when I sit back to contemplate it all, I can't put my finger on what it is I'm trying to reflect on. My mind is just a jumbled mess...

Life is a mystery I can't solve and I can't help but think I'm going to sit back one day and humbly come to the conclusion that there was nothing to ever figure out.

But why do we lower ourselves or submit our feelings for the sake of others? Why do relationships always seem to work out in some weird, messed-up, confusing triangle, or rectangle for that matter? Does everyone hit a point in their life where money is just a tool? Are people really, really mean?

Maybe these things we're not supposed to figure out.

It's not that any of this is making me stronger or weaker or even wiser. It's just that I sit back and am absolutely BAFFLED at it all. That's the only way I can truly describe it. I'm baffled...