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Bad Dad Day 283/365
2008.10.09
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There are good days and bad days since my Dad died - today was a bad day. It's one of those days when he is every where.
It started at the tile shop - I knew he would love seeing all the great looking tile - telling me how certain ones would be set differently. And of course when I got to the order desk I knew that he would have been chatting with everyone there, about everything.
On the drive back to the office I saw all the colors changing, I and though of how he wanted to come out to see the colors change this year. Since he was born and raised in California he never really saw fall.
After work I was flipping through Real Simple, pulling out recipes and found a couple that he would have loved (he had a thing about raisins in dinner).
And then when I sat down to watch TV tonight I realized that I'm avoiding watching two of the shows that used to love - he was really looking forward to Private Practice (he loved Addison on Grey's) and he was the one that got me hooked on Brothers & Sisters.
My Hubby said that I should try to make these happy memories, remembering what a great person he was and how diverse (and strange) his interests were. Of course he's right, and I'll know I'll be okay one day - just not today.
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Comments
<3...........the pain never "leaves" just fades a little...lovely memoriess.....<3
I agree with wagz.. it's almost been a year since my grandfather died and still a year later, the pain is there. Just keep the good times, memories and thoughts close to your heart and never let them fade away..
It takes time. The pain will lighten up and you'll find yourself smiling over the memories you have. It was crazy when my dad died in '04. Crazy little things made me cry or made me think of him - things still do but I smile now.
Unfortunately, it's hard for anyone who hasn't lost a parent to understand. My husband and friends try but they can't.
Sorry Mandy! It will be soo difficult for a while. But you have to keep going and all this pain will become good memories and I'm sure that your father wouldn't like to see you sad and having bad days!
It's normal and healthy to have these bad days or sad moments. It's okay to feel really terrible sometimes about losing someone you loved so much. It just takes time to feel a little better each day, and even in the far off future--it's still okay to have bad days when grief really brings you down. Allow yourself that.
