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Haven't posted in a long time...

2008.12.23
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While sailing, I saw this massive cargo ship. I added the fisheye effect.
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6 Comments
Jarvo Nice effect. I think it makes the ship look bigger.
Jarvo · 2008-12-23: 10:43
LeonardoDaNiepce You call that massive!
I once was floating across the Pacific Ocean in a Dinghy, after having to escape from a ship full of fools who wanted to force me to listen Perry Como sing "I Believe" 48 hours in a row! Anyways....so there I was on this tiny two-woman sized dinghy, though I am a man. And I only had two plastic oars to navigate with! Suddenly, after three days of getting nowhere in the middle of the largest Ocean on Earth....suddenly, as if out of nowhere, I see this gigantic ship! It was the Knock Nevis itself! Almost as long as The Sears Tower is tall! And so I started jumping up and down, waving a pocket mirror I had once borrowed from Her Majesty The Queen and had forgotten to return. I was overjoyed at the thought that I would be rescued!
LeonardoDaNiepce · 2008-12-23: 11:34
LeonardoDaNiepce But NOOOOO!

Instead of getting closer, as it first appeared to be doing, it started to change course!

So I quickly opened the Emergency Rescue and First Aid Kit and removed the single Flare Gun in it!

I then pulled the trigger!

Poof! Nothing!

Nothing but a small whif of smoke came out of the barrel!

I then took off my shirt, which was salt-dry and poured a small mini bottle of Courvoisier Cognac on it and lit it with my one remaining match and the threw it up into the windy ocean air as soon as it began to billow small whifs of smoke!

But the ship did not change course.

Then...suddenly....luck was with me again! I spotted a Killer Whale and managed to attach myself to its back and by using my hands to cover one eye or the other eye of the huge mammalian sea animal I managed to pilot it right towards the ship!

What a stroke of genius!

And within only a few minutes I was port-side! I saw a sailor and yelled out to him!

"HELP! HELP! I'm marooned at sea!"
LeonardoDaNiepce · 2008-12-23: 11:34
LeonardoDaNiepce He smiled and then went over to a huge canister and then quickly detached the thing, such that it fell...plop...right into the water a few feet from me and my newfound whale friend!

By the time I looked back up the sailor was out of view!

I managed to get over to it and grab it. It had basic instructions on how to open it up and how to stay clear of it as it inflates!

It was another dinghy! A Life-Boat-sized dinghy, ten times larger the one I had just been on for days!

I managed to get aboard it and said goodbye the Killer Whale, which then swam off real fast, back in the direction from whence we had come!

The dinghy had a small First Aid Kit with a small Wireless Emergency Radio!

So I made an effort to call the Knock Nevis.

Finally they answered.

"This is the Knock Nevis Merchant Marine unit here, how may we help you?"

"I...I just saw one of your ship's sailors and asked for help and he dropped this Life-Boat dinghy for me and I wish to be rescued!"

"Rescued?"

"Of course! I've been marooned at sea for days now!"
LeonardoDaNiepce · 2008-12-23: 11:34
LeonardoDaNiepce "For days? How did you manage to swim for so long? You should have drowned while suffering from horribly painful muscle cramps by now!"

"No, no, no! I had another dinghy!"

"Oh! I see! Well then...hold on a minute while I consult with the ship's Captain."

I waited for what seemed to be a really short eternity. And just as I was about to doze off he called me back.

"Yes sir! Well...I spoke to Captain Kirk...told him exactly what you told me....and he said that due to a scheduling error we would not be able to make any changes of course, unless to save a significant number of lives!"

"A significant number of lives!? What's that supposed to mean! Am I not a significant enough number of lives??"

"That means at least ten lives!"

"So...am I going to be left to die of thirst and hunger??":

"No...of course not...the Captain has already ordered that a floating box of supplies be dropped and you will soon see it! It has a small reddish-orange flag attached to an antenna!"

"Yes...I think I see it!"

"Good! Enjoy the food and drinks compliments of Captain Kirk!"

"Aw...alright! Can you please send out an SOS for any other ships in the area who might be able to rescue me!"

"For you anything, mate! Good luck now!"

So then I managed to get hold of the box of supplies. It had twenty tins of highest quality and grade Sevruga and Beluga Caviar, four tins of jellied whole Lobsters in Lemon-Butter sauce, six large bottles of Brut Champagne, a bag full of frozen Blinnys, a large box of candied French Chestnuts (Marons Sucre avec Aroma de Vanilia), a copy of Herman Melville's classic "Moby Dick" but in Swahili, which I never got the chance to learn, a whole traditional English Porcelain Chinaware Tea-Set, including a variety of Fine Teas from Taylor's of Harrogate, two bags of Granulated Sugar, two boxes of Scottish Shortbread cookies, a DVD copy of "Titanic" and another of "Jaws", and two Salted Smoked Salmons that were terribly salty!

After five hours of nearly going insane I was woken up by the room steward and realized that I was still aboard HMS Jingle Bells, a World War Two British Navy vessel converted into a permanently docked tourist attraction hotel on the banks of the Thames, just south of Westminster and The House of Lords in London!
LeonardoDaNiepce · 2008-12-23: 11:35
lyency what a wonderful sea tale, j.-p., thank you marissaphoto!
lyency · 2008-12-23: 14:51
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