Day 246~ 246/365

today was hard.

i didn't make it into the musical.

the worst part of not getting a part in a show... is having to tell everyone who believes in you that you didn't.

even telling yourself all day that you probably arn't going to make it because you can't sing... nothing can prepare you for that walk of shame you take from the cast list of all your friends and classmates but not you.. to the door where you congratulate your friends and tell them goodbye and then tell your parents you are okay and then you go into your room and cry.

nothing like a good cry.

rejection is a part of theatre- it's a big part of it... and i knew in my head that i didn't stand a chance at getting a part..
but... i still hoped i did.

and that was my mistake.
i take things too seriously...
and too personally...

musicals are tough because i'm not a great singer.. i'm working on it but now its obvious i am not getting any better... and i can't dance, i'm a clutz...

kj got in.
she's my best friend in the entire world and she deserves it. she's amazing in everyway and she's gonna make it big someday.
and i'm so happy and proud of her- i really really am.
from the bottom of my heart.
and i'm proud of chris and grand and all my freinds who made it.
i told them i was and gave them a hug....

it's just hard.

i need this long weekend.
and i need saturday with my pct loves.

i went to the game and had a fun time
we lost but we are still in the play offs...
and i caught a tshirt from the cannon thing..
it was fun.

i need tomorrow to come.
i'm doing my first photostory and i'm doing it on blakdrew! my best friend ever! i'm so excited! and i'm finally going home to pct.