Day 248~ 248/365

"Endings are never easy,
I always build them up so much in my head that they can't possibly live up to my expectations
and I just end up disapointed.
I'm not even sure why it matters to me so much how it ends here.

I guess its because we all want to believe what we do is important,
that people hang onto our every word,
that they care what we think.

The truth is that you should feel lucky if
occasionally you get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better.
After that it's all about the people you let into your life.

And as my mind drifted to faces i've seen here before
I was taken to memories of
family,
of co-workers,
of lost loves,
even those who have left us
and as I rounded that last corner they all came at me in a wave of shared memories and experiences.

And even though it felt warm and safe I knew that it had to end.

Its never good to live in the past too long.

As for the future, thanks to them, it didn't seem so scary anymore. It can be whatever I want it to be.
And who's to say that isn't what happens, who can tell me that my fantices won't come true...

Just this once."

~ last episode of scrubs. it is so true and relivant to what is happening in my life right now. and i believe it too. about life is about the people you let into your life and the thing about it being warm and safe but knowing you have to let it go. and about not living in the past too long. it's a beautiful monolouge.

"Z is for... well I don't really have a "Z" word for you- sorry. Everyone in sixth grade is doing like zebra and zoo and i'm not trying to burst anyone's bubble but, those aren't very cool... I mean zoos are smelly and some of the animals look like they want to eat you and I don't really like the zoo. There's too much walking. I"m not trying to be selfish but it's true. And sorry to zebra lovers but face it, zebras are weird! I mean, you don't know if they are white with black stripes or black with white stripes.

For me, Z is for The end. I know what you are thinking. There isn't a "z" in the end but i'm going to prove you wrong.

Z is the end of the alphabet, the end of my autobiography, adn this is the end of sixth grade. Usually I hate endings but sometimes I'm ready for them, like the end of sixth grade. I feel like my teachers have prepared me enough to go to junior high and i'm excited. It's just hard to believe that I've been going to school here for six years and now i'm leaving. It's like leaving my childhood.

The end of a play, the end of a story, the end of this book, the end of the alphabet, or any other way you put it, it means that same thing... the end. Thank you for reading my ABC autobiography. I hope you enjoyed it! And if there's one thing I've learned about endings it is that a new beginning is waiting right after the end. Oh, and as for this book... this is "Z" end! (see, told you there was a "z"!)"

~ the last page of my 6th grade abc autobiography book.
and i still feel that same way.

Leaving PCT is like leaving my childhood behind, but even my sixth grade self believed that there are new beginnings after ends...

so who am i to prove myself wrong?

:)

here's to remembering the past.. and to great new beginnings.