Horny Neighbors & Horsing Around

Seeing the new neighbors reminds me of the time several years ago when I was in my front yard, about 50 feet from the road, bent over like one of those "bent over old lady" painted wooden signs people used to, for some bizarre reason, put in their yards. But I wasn't painted, nor was I wooden. My booty was really out there for all to see while I was bent over busily planting flowers and listening to the birds- relaxing. I live in the country and out here people quite frequently honk or wave as they drive by. But that day there was a whole lot of honking going on as people drove by. I didn't think much of it. I was busy planting flowers, relaxing, listening to the birds. After a while of almost every car honking as they drove by, though, it dawned on me that this was unusual. I wondered if I had a rip in my pants or something. I stood up, looked back toward the road (and my booty), and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a bull- a big, huge, very large, black bull- standing right behind me and my behind, staring at me. Now, I'm not one that easily makes friends, especially with animals. So, needless to say I didn't feel much like getting to know this animal just then. I felt like screaming but thought that might get him all excited. And it wouldn't do much good since my husband and kids weren't around anyway. I felt like running but thought that would get him all excited too. So, ever so slowly I inched my way toward the front door which was about 25 feet away. (That's 300 inches of inching). I made it, called the neighbor guy and he came and got his bull. All that summer that bull continued to jump the fence.

And that's no bull!