Friday fun: Christmas Lights

With only only seven weeks ($1.7 trillion in sales) to go before Christmas, any sane person (I know you're out there) should be getting very worried about all those hideous lights already affixed to lamp posts, festooning public places and heralding the unbearable torture of tinned Christmas carols.

If you're not, this image should start the healthy process of anguish and despair and drunken binging that usually accompany the Season to be Jolly.

Some years ago, I was walking up my street in Athens and every house on either side had those fucking twinkly lights on. To make matters worse, each set included a small plastic sound box with said midi Christmas carols beeping and chirruping away. Never mind "decking the halls", I wanted to deck someone.

The only way to remain sane and avoid a lengthy prison sentence was to hang Santa. The lynch mob felt slightly better, but my neighbours never spoke to me again.

And here's one factoid you'll regret having in your neurones now: it is very hard to knot a hangman's noose using Xmas lighting cables. So there.

In the meantime, I hope you all have an illuminating weekend, ho, ho, ho!