gacko's PhotoBlog

ALS

2009-04-24T23:43:12Z

What happened today was disappointing. Not that I don't know what to do during simulation. It's just the nerves got the better of me. Yesterday was superb. I knew the algorithms in and out. This morning I just blanked out. Every step in the algorithm took at least 5 seconds more than I should. Hence for the bradycardia station, I was deemed slow by the examiner. Second attempt, anaphylaxis. ABCDE then adrenaline. I know that exactly. But when that guy started to become more breathless, I panicked. Put in an oropharyngeal, he gagged. More panicky moments. I ventilated him with the bag. Examiner says stop right there. Nice. I knew I fucked it up. At the back of my head, I knew it was that ventilation step. I knew I shouldn't be doing that but I guess I just did. ARGHHHHHH ANXIETY ARGHHHHHH = FUCKING UP EASY SITUATIONS

Things for granted

2009-04-21T02:59:35Z

My consultant didn't like my case presentations at all today. He thinks that I didn't put in enough effort for the assessment meeting. I think so too. To prepare for this meeting, all I did was many sessions of FIFA online and none of the reading of cases. To sit there opposite him, trying to talk my way out of this mess, just got the whole situation shittier by the minute. He wasn't impressed at all, more by my mediocre effort in persuading him to sign the piece of paper so I don't have to make another appointment with him. He definitely didn't buy that shit. After all he's an orthopaedic consultant. Some of them are nice. He's nice. Just not as nice as I thought he would be. Farking hell for god's sake, arghhhh I hate myself. EFFORT!! Come on.. Ok on a lighter note, I just re-read the sentence above.. F*cking hell for god's sake? How's that? Oh well.. Please please please.. sign me off as competent next week PLEASE.......... [EDIT] Oh no, I need to call my dad tomorrow. Already running low on funds. Argh.. another problem to think about. Also he's going for surgical review regarding his gall bladder polyp. Seriously, I feel like shit. I need to curb spending! The more I update, the more unpleasant things I do start to surface. I'm not proud of this at all.

Sick

2009-04-16T11:46:14Z

The fact that I always leave things last minute makes me sick in my guts. There will always be tomorrow irregardless of how urgent that thing is. I can always do it today but no, I will leave it till it's very last minute, shitting in my pants, considering the consequences should I fail to accomplish the task. Now, that's a really fucked up feeling. Because the fact that you actually know where's you're fucking up or bound to fuck up, but still, you still fuck it up. It's no better than people who don't know they're fucking up shortly. With this attitude in hand, it's it quite a guarantee that I will fuck up in life.

Resilience

2008-07-15T12:47:13Z

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain´t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain´t you! You´re better than that!" Rocky Balboa

Slippery Slope?

2008-05-08T04:10:25Z

"... the slippery slope is an argument for the likelihood of one event or trend given another. It suggests that an action will initiate a chain of events culminating in an undesirable event later.." Told ya siew yoke is irresistible..

FSH (Fucking Sick Hand)

2008-05-06T23:53:13Z

I thought I had the nuts on the turn card... I re-raised and the she-male lookalike re-raised me. My early perception was she had a straight or some fuck like that.. so I went all in.. Turns out she had the sick upper straight flush... HOW FUCKING SICK... OH POKER IS A SICKFUCK GAME..

Temporary Inactivity

2008-04-24T23:13:40Z

Have been busy lately. Will update soon. Promise.

Chia Ming & Jaycen

2008-04-10T18:52:34Z

OK. My blog is getting B.O.R.I.N.G.

kee

2008-04-09T19:13:03Z

"Prayer is the key to Heaven, but faith unlocks the door.." Anonymous On the other hand.. Facebook poker is evil.. Very evil..

All In

2008-04-08T20:49:44Z

A chip stack can be a fortress, a tool or a trap. It can bully the weak and shame the greedy. It can force you into action when it dwindles or keep you out of trouble when it's full-grown. We play because inside every short stack there's a large stack waiting to be born.