Sprock's guide on how to make a wallet from a Tetra-Pak

STEP 1: find an old tetra-pak. these things are everywhere now so it shouldn't be hard. Chances are you have 1 or 20 in your fridge right now. Best of all find one in the trash or on the street. The whole point is not to buy a new one just to get the wallet but to recycle something that would have just ended up in landfill normally. I found this one in the car park of one of those huge supermarkets.
STEP 2: When the security guard asks why you with your knitted hat and your friend wearing a traditional Russian hat are looking in the garbage and around the supermarket explain that it your favourite past time on a friday night. When he realises that you can't speak very good Serbian he will give up questioning you and go away.
STEP 3: Pull the tabs that are glued at the top and bottom of the pak and make it flat.

Step 4: cut the top of the pak at the top and bottom on the fold line. Now is a good time to clean it because otherwise you money will reek of stale milk or be sticky from the pinapple juice. i learned this the hard way.

STEP 5: ignore the propaganda that informs you how environmentally friendly the tetra-pak is. This is the biggest load of shit i have ever heard in my life. These fucking things are probably the worst and mostexcessive packaging you can find anywhere. There's 5 fucking layers of materials thin plastic outside (20 percent), aluminum inside (5 per cent) and
a fibrous middle layer (75 per cent) which makes them extremely difficult to recycle. In fact curently no technology exists to economically seperate the layers on a mass scale. The plastic layer,even if it was separated properly, can’t be recycled at all!
But this is exactly what a highly polluting and damaging company like tetra-pak wants; after all if it was easy to recycle them or reuse then they couldn't keep spewing them out of their factory and making all the money. There is nearly 4 billion of these pieces of shit produced each year when they could so easily be reused again and again or even better not have them in the first place. The whole idea behind it is crazy, a container that takes so much resouces, materials and energy to produce that then has a lifetime of a few days, is used once and then chucked away. A perfect match for the throw-away society we live in now. What was wrong with the glass bottles??? Tetra-Pak claims that their products are environmentally friendly because the materials are from renewable resources. hmmm renewable plastic and aluminium. yeah. ok. sorry. rant over. for now. let us continue!

Step 6: you need to fold the pak out flat and really flatten the sides as much as you can. A good way is to use the handle of a pair of scissors and smooth down with this. It is important to make sure that you have folded it out completely symmetrically, so the fold lines match on the inside.

Step 7: Now fold the sides of the pak in on themselves like so.

Step 8: Now you have to make it as flat as possible. You can use scissors like before and then another good way is to drag the pak over an edge, like a table or something. Use one hand to push down on the pak while the other pulls it down the edge.

You should now have something like this...

Now take a break. Go to the toilet, bake a cake, sing old nationalist songs with your neighbor.

Step 9: Ok now we will decide how big you want the wallet. The best way i found is to use a credit card or something the same size to use as a guide. So put the card on the pak with the bottom edge just away from the bottom of the pak, like in the picture. Now make a line on the pak where the card lies on the upper side. I.e just above where it says 'European Voluntary service' in the picture. Now you need to press down and go over this line so you can fold it. Don't use the scissors because they will cut the card of the pak and water will get into your wallet!

Step 10: Now you need to fold the bottom of the pak on the fold line you just made. One thing: you will notice that on side of the tetra-pak has a join line running down the middle where it is glued together. You have to fold the pak so this join line is on the INSIDE because this is the weakest part and makes it easier for you wallet to be destroyed if its on the outside.

Step 11: You now have the body of the wallet. just the cover to go! Now mark a line where the fold comes up to. Now you have to cut the front part away so you just leave the layer of tetra-pak behind. It might be easier to unfold the pack and cut like this.

Step 12: SO hopefully now you have ended up with something like this. If not, then you did something wrong because you're stupid, or more likely you can't read my awful, piss poor instructions. Sorry.

Step 13: For the cover that comes over the top of the wallet just cut it to how long you want and round off the corners and there it is!!

Step 14: Now all you have to do is join the 2 inside parts of the wallet. The easiest and strongest way i think is to staple it.
Then you can think how you want to fasten the cover down. I found some of this velcro which is sticky on the back and its perfect. I stole mine from a conference so I can't recommend any places where you can find it i'm afraid. But don't buy anything to fix it - you want this wallet to be 100% anti-consumer! Or you can simply put an elastic band around or if you cut the sides of the flap away you can fold it into the wallet itself.

And there you have it. You've created something from nothing! Now stuff your wallet full of money and go and spend it all in the high street on pointless crap you don't need, just like the TV told you.