The other weekend I checked out Seoul's rose festival. Even though it was very crowded, the flowers were so beautiful and everything smelled delightful.
I have always associated roses with my grandmother. When I was little I would visit my grandparent's house and their gardens were full of roses. There were always fresh cut flowers in a vase on the table. Roses always bring be back to those days and I think of her.
*I get a little deep coming up, so if you want to keep things light and happy stop reading now and just enjoy the pictures :) *
This post is a lot harder for me because one thing that people never tell you about living abroad is that when things change back home, you can't be there. My first year in Korea, I lost two of my grandparents. The grandma that I mentioned earlier being one. I couldn't go home due to work and ticket prices. I knew both were coming, but death is hard to deal with when your far from family. After it all happened, it was almost easier to stay away than deal with the pain of loss. After two and a half years away I've got my first trip home coming up and it just feels like it's time.
I do feel like she's with me, especially when I see roses. I also see a lot of her in me. I've definitely inherited her stubbornness, adventurous spirit, and the ability to always be right. I also feel that as I grow older, I look more and more like her each day.
Life is hard when you lose loved ones. I'm learning to take joy in things that remind me of them and let myself feel them with me. Life's not always easy and it's harder without key members of your cheer squad. But, as I'm finding, it does push you to grow and see how much you can really do.
Okay, my next post will be a lot lighter. I just couldn't think of anything else that I wanted to talk about with this one. I just kept thinking of my grandmother as I was going through these pictures. June was always her month in my mind, so this just seemed right.