Day 54

by Lexxy Benevides February. 24, 2017 1800 views

This is me. I decided earlier today that I was going to take a self portrait. However I got busy and didn't get to take one until right now, right before bed. It's a photo with the long days makeup, my stress filled eyes and strained look in my forced half smile. 

It somewhat saddens me to look at this photo. I feel like this isn't me. For one, I never wear my hair like this. I have naturally curly thick hair that is usually highly unmanageable. With stress and hormones out of wack my skin is less than perfect, so I covered up with some post editing some, but its still there.This is new to me so I feel so uncomfortable in my skin. My eyes are puffy and blood shot, and you wouldn't guess it but my lip has a numb sort of twitch to it as a weird side effect to some medication I take. 

So here today on day 54, February 23, 2017, I am taking this self portrait. A tired, stressed, over done, 26 year old woman, that has her own struggles just like you, and just like a stranger passing on a street. This doesn't make me desperate, it doesn't mean I have a terrible life, in fact I have a pretty good life. It just means that today right now that this moment I am feeling stressed and hopeful for a positive future. 

The great thing about photography is that 10 people can view a photo, and all 10 of those people could see different things. This is what I see in this particular photo tonight.  

Self Loathing

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Katy 4 years, 1 month ago

I see a woman that has the guts to put her image and feelings out for the public. You are my hero, you are bold, you are beautiful, you are a warrior, you will rise above how you feel right now. We all feel what you described at some point. However, the difference for some of us is we know we are above our current self image, and see the potential within us. For that, walk tall and know that even though we rarely measure up to our own standards doesn't mean we are missing the mark. We are just aiming for a ridiculous, unreachable mark.

4 years, 1 month ago Edited
Lexxy Benevides Replied to Katy 4 years, 1 month ago

Thank you for your kind words!

4 years, 1 month ago Edited