Back onto the Silence
Looking at you straight on
Mind bleeding, losing its hope
I have to be strong
Nowhere to hide the feelings
With Roots of their own
They have been paddling
Now hidden without their will,
they say: "What, you don't want to know us?"
After all we've done for you?
Pretend all is well,
Put the jolly mask on
Try and constrict the frown coming
For Sadness making the eye weep
Hold on my Eye, be brave, not now,
When they are gone, you can let go again
Beside them all, your weakness shines like a full moon
You don't want a needy hopeless in you forever.
Strong, you had to be Strong
Strong always, alone yet Strong
Nobody around to tell you "I care to hear"
"What you would like to say" "Even if it hurts"
"and makes me cry too".
Nobody to make you feel better
Nobody to allow you
For a moment
You , strong ,
all that life
Were not allowed weakness
Now you are still strong
Built yourself an armour
Of decency and coping.
Never weak... yet sometimes
you may regret...
Not to have been much of a child
Then, or now...?
I am sorry I can't express
Around you I have to be
My misery is nothing But chimeres
I am not allowed to feel that way
I am not allowed to feel down
Gloomy and grey
Not by you, not near you, ever
Yet I try and put the jolly mask on
, never manage to keep it on
I never learned to secure it with
what seems like, titanium chains.
Mine is tied on with string
The mouse nibbling at it
Constantly in the mind...
That jolly mask...Means it I will never know you
Means it I will never be allowed to be
honest and weak
Let myself go
of joy and pains
"Make do, make like, just shut up
And do the best with your life
It is what I learned I wanted to do.
When I see you...
I feel that sinking feeling inside
I cannot speak to you.
I have to be strong, like YOU.....
But I can't... Do I believe I am weak, like you believe you are strong and capable?
Keep rambling on here , instead.
Till I find the exit.