Old tape

by Alexandra Pechabadens April. 26, 2018 440 views

old tape

17 at 6:00am · ·

Why is the past
Always in the moment
With me
Its tides
invading
forcing
Pulling

Back there
Always
back to the place
Where I ran away
thinking I was safe
yes, safe
Yet, loveliess
Loveless
Loneless
Loneworth
Sad Wolf
Knows better
Does he?

Sick he was
To feed his young
It was meant to be
however the Yellow Dock
Knew best and said
No more
twice
three times

Listen!

Listen to me
I am your past
I am your present
I will be your future
For you will let me
Reign, in you
Reign, for you, my slave
Reign, believe the tales
which kept you safe
And powerless

Believe me, or
you will be nothing
Nobody did bad
Except for you
Impure-born soul
Sinner you were
You looked for it
You wanted it
He did it
You the sinner
Born to be
Object to me
Sinner
Your saviour

I am our saviour
Remember that
Without me
you are nothing
Listen to me
I am your box,
your left brain
I am all you need
You need not Else
YOu need not Illusions
From above
It's all shite
We know it
It does not exist,

any of it

None of the beauty
You experienced
Was real
All that is real is me
And you will play me
again and again
Leave me free will
I am your will, you are NOT
You are OBEDIENCE
and, and or, you will die.

I am scared, so I control, you
Of course you have other choices
But I will not help you find them
I will get in your way
You always come back to me
Always back to me
Your Pillar

Because I AM
Separate
Better
Alone
Survivor
Human
Hungry
and poor
In the heart
It's how I remain
I will drag you with me
It's where you belong

You are hurting
Your stomach twisted
from the remembering
of
what you've just done
Bad, bad person
Of course you're bad
And I made you do it
I am omnipresent
Don't send me to sleep
Even there, I will control
I can invade, have it all
for myself
let very little
come to you
Of that truth
that you are
Yearning for.

Let me be YOU are
I am YOU
I am your PAST
You nothing else
Lose hope no
not till I have had my power
In this WORLD

and had your life.

If I disintegrate
I will be great and dislocated
take you me with

in depths the of Madness
It is I

"Such is life when we live in the ego mind... it's shit: it's like being the puppet of something really stupid."

The Damson in the Dress (the Damson in distress)

The lady said: "When you feel joy, and you know you are the happiest person alive on earth, when you are one with the universe and in tune with yourself, well, do do breathe in and take that joy to every one of your cells, and store it in there for them so when they will feel ill and sick and harassed by your stresses of Life, the cells will be able to tap into that joy to keep themselves healthy and fit for many months to come, because you fed them with such beauty..."

"Pig, Fistachio and Cardamom in dark chocolate"

"Do not judge me, for you do not know what motivates this expression, and nor do I, as it is not mine"

A customer and I were having a chat about kombucha and suddenly someone behind me wanting to get past just tapped me on the left hip three little taps. I turned around, still talking to my customer, and there was nobody? I said to her as sh looked puzzled, that I felt someone tapping me, and she sad 'yes I saw something, I thought it was a dog, are you sure it wasn't a dog? " -and she looked under the table but there was no dog...
at bishops castle market. and with invisible guests.(02/17)

"They loved people who said nothing back, who were too scared because they had heard of such horrors they couldn't possibly fight back for fear of dying."

I feel so very weird I am stopping myself writing certain things and doing certain things out of fear that something will happen if I do not do this. I feel pushed in a direction that isn't the one I feel familiar with. I trust all is well, I trust Ego has to shatter before Light gets into the dungeons of one human mind. I feel it is not me writing. I feel another force is there, within or with-out me.

Chanelling in writing. A splitting of the mind that brings on a strange, very odd dialogue between the whole of life.

"Cette nuit un voleur s'est introduit chez moi, il cherchait de l'argent. Je suis sorti de mon lit et j'ai cherché avec lui. "

"Last night a thief got into my house, he was looking for money. I got out of my bed and looked with him".

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