Silence... the true Currency

by Alexandra Pechabadens June. 07, 2018 392 views

I know it is hard, so hard to see ourselves. It is nearly impossible to understand how we come across to others, so impossible than in order to see ourselves, we need to be watching a video tape of ourselves behaving (it having been recorded without our knowledge) or an audio recording of our interaction.

It has been many times I thought of doing that to see how I did interact with people, what I sounded like. I only did it once, when I was 18 or so, I had a recorder and recorded a family conversation at the table, and I learned a lot on the dynamics.
It is not dishonest - I did it so to understand why I felt that way then, uneasy and unable to talk. I understood why, that day. I never did it again. When I had told my mother, she had said it was a very bad thing to do. I don't think it is a bad thing unless we use it to sue people (but then they shouldn't say bad things out loud if they don't want others to record it), yes, well not very loyal in that case, though I am sure it could be justified if the person recorded is misbehaving very badly.

However, when I speak with others, it amazes me how so many people do not realise how they interact also. I have met in my life so many people who just talk about themselves, or monopolise the conversation to a point where nobody like me could ever get in to say anything nor add anything to the monologue, because they are just so busy talking they don't realise other people may also want to say something.
When faced up with it away from others, those persons oddly don't comprehend and get hurt by the comment - often feeling criticised - not realising that it is NOT a criticism, but a cry for help: "I am drowning, please give me some air, some silence, so I can express who I am" . No, they see it as: "You don't want me to be myself!".

It makes me really sad, with some people it's really chronic, with others they may realise they speak too much but don't know (?) how to remedy it so to leave kind space for others to express.

When you are someone who finds it really hard to say anything, it is a plague to be mixing with persons who constantly speak about themselves without asking you questions about how you feel, what you think about what is being talked about. It becomes so draining to be the "victim" of someone's gob,(it really is draining), that it is easy to lose the will to live and the will to stand up and try and speak, because if we do, it is often interrupted by the talker who takes a new lead because what you have said has reminded them of some story they must absolutely vomit. (now I am being harsh!)

"Silence is Currency" is for what we talked about last night. Silence in between a group of people means someone can have the word and use that silence for self expression and/or communication. 

However, if there are no silences, it is hard for everybody who would like to say something, to be involved and express. It is why,  Silence is Currency. 

Persons, persons, you out there, please be kind, be generous, and leave some silence, for others to treasure and express into...

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Alexandra Pechabadens 2 years, 10 months ago

We ALL need space to express. I would like to be once with a group of people and we would have the talking stick method, 5 minutes each, whilst the others remain silent. If the talker has raised opinions and you can see the group wanting to express after the person has finished their allegated 5 minutes,, then everybody else can explode and all talk at the same time and not listen to one another,  5 minutes. They are then said to stop,  and the next person gets the stick, and speaks for 5 minutes whilst everybody else remains silent. 

I would really like to do that. Anybody up for it?

2 years, 10 months ago Edited
Alexandra Pechabadens Replied to Alexandra Pechabadens 2 years, 10 months ago

I will admit with a little bit of shame, that in my quiet behaviour/personality, I have caught myself several times actually over talking when someone else was either more shy than me and quieter, or when they left me space. 
 It must be an energy quiet people give out, we must attract verbal diarrhea to compensate for the over quietness and lack of expression in our own lives, at different levels.

2 years, 10 months ago Edited
Alexandra Pechabadens Replied to Alexandra Pechabadens 2 years, 10 months ago

Please accept my apology if I have ever been overwhelmingly talking, and not asking how you felt, in a conversation with you. That is from the unbalance of the mental personality, seeking balance but seeking it the wrong way.

2 years, 10 months ago Edited