I am loved

by Alexandra Pechabadens May. 27, 2019 286 views

Terrible fears come from far and build

they love they lose their interest fades

I am not sure who I am, and it's ok

Steering me to be what you want me to be,

trowing prams out of the toys you were offered

when it isn't what you wanted.

It is hard, so hard to love ourselves,
You to you
Me to me

Good luck with that journey.
I am with you.

The buddists talk about arrows (apparently),
You can throw the first arrow "Ooh I have spilled the milk what a pity all that good cream, gone"
But refrain to throw the second one "I am such an idiot, what a twat, I am unlovable for at least the rest of the day till everybody has forgotten about me being such a cretin"
A work in progress.
I learned to blame myself for all I did.
It showed that
I was
a worthy christian
if I was ready to take a stick
and beat myself with it.
(I am).
Time to stop.

It is an admirable trait to be able to see flaws and faults inside of us.
It is a more admirable trait when we admit to it openly
With a smile...And a joke! (in my opinion)
And we are able to make others smile about theirs...
as they describe them and say "Unfortunately, I am passing through a phase of being like this"("But I would like to change because I am not that happy...in my life...I feel isolated, and intolerant of those around me who are all "about themselves" "they aren't interested in me. I have no true friend" )
O Kind human being,
is it because you keep talking about yourself and they get fed-up with it?
Or you just attract those who relentlessly talk about themselves
As they are handing over the mirror to you? "Look what you are, look at what you dislike in me, and you will learn about what you dislike in you".

Evolved human beings
I think I see them
But they turn into "unfinished works"
Wallet chakras
Not evolved at all when you scratch
the surface...
I wish I could be like the idea of them
Calm, funny, peaceful, respectful
integrous, willing to work
Willing to relax and let go
and laugh, in a light harmless heart,
Applauding the joy to be alive.
Blossoming like a huge energy field.
Content of what is in my life.
The good and the "bad" (which is "good" in disguise)

It was time they realised they could be such
and started acting as such beautiful beings
That they should be.
I am not one, I have too much work
on my plate
in my mind
it gives me an excuse
to "doubt" who I am.
I don't mind doubting.
It could be quite healthy.
Yet I feel such integrity...
But they don't seem to understands it
so maybe it comes across as twatness.
Sometimes I do... and I love me when I do...
Feel peace.

Why do dairy clog up my sinuses so much?
Bloody annoying when one is enjoying writing
and the box of tissues is empty.

It is time to go.

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