Seastar (family rant)

by Babyh March. 25, 2013 406 views

In the last few days Aurelia has started doing a few more baby signs: sewing machine, bath and fish.

Over the weekend I had a minor breakdown. I'm just so fed up with having the house on the market, dealing with a three old (who is a pain in the butt to put it nicely), and being frequently low on sleep due to Aurelia's nightly wakings.

Why is it that I need to say the same thing over and over (and over and over …) every day to Arden? It has been MONTHS of telling him not to knock over Aurelia, not to take things away from her, not to push, kick, pick up, or pinch her, sit on his butt, feet under the table, be careful, use his normal or inside voice (versus whining or yelling), listen to his body (when he clearly needs to pee), walk only, calm down, ask nicely… etc etc etc. It seriously wears me down! The worst is when I tell him not to do something, he asks why, I explain, and then he proceeds to do it anyway. I lose my shit. The one other time I have a hard time containing my anger is when he breaks a safety rule and hurts Aurelia.

I feel like I have been trying so hard to be an understanding, patient, calm, gentle, and encouraging parent, and all I have to show for it is an asshole 3 year old.

But he's not always that way. He is SO creative, independent, observant, curious, and expressive. And very, very strong willed. Things I want my children to be…you know, later on in life. Right now it just drives me crazy! He is also loving, it is just the ratios are such that there is an ounce of loving behavior for every pound of aggressive, spontaneous behavior.

And it's the same shit every.single.day. For months! How could that not wear you down? Something clearly needs to change. I just don't know what it is! Hoping to find some encouragement and new strategies at the library…

In addition to his behavior, all of February and March we have only visited with friends and family once a month. I thought that staying home more (only going out to run errands) would be better–more time at home, being better at having a routine, better naps for Aurelia, less stress…etc. And I thought that Aurelia napping once a day would be better, but instead it's worse. She used to nap in the car in the morning while we were out and we tried to be home by 1pm for afternoon nap. Now we have to be home by 11:30 for nap! So we just don't have time to visit with people and run any errands. One or the other, which means more trips, which sucks.

But it dawned on me that I forgot about the socialization the kids, especially Arden, and I need. Not seeing our mommy group makes me feel so isolated and alone in dealing with all the problems we've have. And being around other 3 year olds makes me appreciate who Arden is, and how he is more mature (in some areas). Plus then he can run, jump, and interact with kids his age, instead of constantly being reprimanded for being too crazy with Aurelia.

After discussing everything with Matt we've decided to try making a meal plan and grocery shopping on the weekends (one less thing to do during the week and helps our days be more predictable) and try to visit with friends at least once a week. And I need to get out of the house alone more often. And we need to find a better way of dealing with Arden because our daily escalation of reprimanding and punishments is clearly not working for us.

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