The year 2017. Two Thousand and Seventeen. 365 days. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things but it's amazing how much can change and how much someone can go through in that short space of time.
The beginning of the year started different from other years, I was happy. I was with someone I at the time could picture spending my life with, 18 days later I was single, heartbroken and depressed. If something that dramatic can happen in the space of just 18 days then 365 days is an eternity.
Through February I was an absolute mess. Telling anyone who would listen how broken I felt, how my entire future had imploded, you know, the basic mellow dramatic stuff we all say when we're in that frame of mind. For the first time in my life, I was utterly depressed and couldn't see an end to it.
Then my friend said something to me, something small and to him, probably insignificant but to me, it was huge.
You get to have a first kiss again
Of course at the time kissing was the last thing on my mind, but that word "first" is what stuck out. My life wasn't over, my relationship was. My future was still intact it just didn't have this particular person in it.
By June, I was largely over it, still sad occasionally but for the majority I was happy. July, my birthday rolled around, August I passed my driving test and went on holiday to Devon, October I left a job I hated for one that I now love.
Now it's December, 25th. Christmas day. I've had the best day with my family and I'm a little drunk as I type this, but I'm.. happy. I paused because being happy worries me, being happy means you can fall, being happy means putting trust that it'll stay that way. I know where I am with depressed, being happy is more scary than being depressed, for me.
If so much can happen in the space of a single year, what does 2018 have in store for me? At time of writing, I have no idea, but one things for sure, it's going to be a heck of a ride.
Merry Christmas and a happy new year, thank you for reading. I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes from my favourite TV show.
Everythings ends, that's always sad. But everything begins again too and that's always happy. Be happy.