[56-365] 30th September 2020- Roger has been looking a little worse for wear lately. It's coming up to his second birthday on Christmas day even though he looks older (that's something to do with gnome years) and he has weathered all sorts of storms, literally. So I thought it was time we bought him a new outfit and brightened up his beard.
It being difficult to go out shopping with Roger at the moment, being illegal for him to try on clothes in the store for example, I thought I would do some online shopping for him. He only has three fingers on each hand so can't use a mouse himself.
As a consequence I bought him a lovely colourful set of clothes that came in the form of liquid. Now it means it was a little inconvenient to put them on but on the plus side they were guaranteed to fit and he only needed one coat, a blue one, ha ha.
The sharp eyed amongst you will notice that he has no eyes. Roger needed another layer of face paint as he is quite vain and also now two faced so I will have to keep an eye on him until the second coat is dry and then I will use a fine brush and a stiff gin to steady my nerves before he can see again.
He also has a new shiny orange carrot to replace his old mouldy one, and shiny new shoes. In case any of you were worried about what Roger has between his legs, panic ye not, it is quite innocent. Roger started out life as a whistling gnome and strategically placed between his legs is his old movement sensor, no that is not a euphemism. As you approached Roger he wolf whistled at you. Sadly he weathered one storm too many so is now silent.
As today it rained cats and dogs all day, applying Roger's new coat was the perfect indoor activity. You could say I have been doing my gnomework. No the jokes are not getting any better.
As an aside, of which I have many, “Cats and dogs” may come from the Greek expression cata doxa, which means “contrary to experience or belief.” If it is raining cats and dogs, it is raining unusually or unbelievably hard. Not sure that is credible. Alternatively “Cats and dogs” may be a perversion of the now obsolete word catadupe. In old English, catadupe meant a cataract or waterfall. I think this sounds more likely as over the centuries there have been many corruptions of words and sentences.
The French of course always have to go one better so they say "Il pleut des cordes" Literally “It's raining ropes,” this way of describing a heavy downpour in French evokes the image of rain pouring from rooftops when it literally forms long “ropes” of raindrops stretching to the ground. Of course it may just be because they had a revolution, which involved a lot of hanging ropes.