This is probably the most difficult thing I ever wrote, let alone published. The past few years have been incredibly difficult. My boyfriend has been suffering from an extreme burnout for almost three years now. He has also had a major depression for part of that time. This caused struggles and misunderstandings with some of my close relatives. All this emotional stress finally took its toll on me too. About two years ago I crashed. Luckily not as hard as my boyfriend but enough to make me feel horrible and unable to work for a month. I have struggled with my energy level ever since. Sometimes it gets better, then it gets worse again. Right now the seeming endlessness of our situation has made it a lot worse.
Part of getting better is accepting the situation, to see reality for what it is and to stop wishing it is different. To start living in the moment and to stop worrying about the past and future. I know this but it is very difficult to apply. The only time I am truly able to live in the moment is when I am holding my camera. That is why I started this project. To visualize the demons inside my head. I guess this is just my way of dealing with it.
I have learned that I am not alone in this, that there are lots of people with their own demons. I find it sad that there still seems to be some kind of taboo on these subjects. Because it really helps to share with others, to break the isolation we so easily confine ourselves to. By posting these photos I hope I can break someone else's isolation. To show them they are not the only ones who struggle.
I can't always find the words to describe it, so I used quotes from songs that I think apply to the photos.