CameraPhone Wednesday : The World acording to the iPhone

by Kevin Marshall November. 14, 2007 3976 views

(This is written VERY much tounge in cheek to those who think the iPhone will save the world etc etc etc. I'm not anti Mac or anti Apple - I'm just anti-stupid. Those who are offended should leave now. You have been warned!!!)

The Bible to the iPhone

In the beginning there was computing. And it was beige. Then the lord Steve Jobs came down in 1984 and gave us the Apple Mac.

For lo. there was times when Apple dipped in and out computing. Those who did desktop publishing rejoiced. others mearly looked on. In the great year 2003, Lord Jobs bestowed upon us the first iPod.

And after a few revisions, it was deemed good.

But hark! Users moaned! What quarrel did they have with the sacred Lord Jobs? Alas, they wanted more built in. They wanted touch screens and a phone.

So the Lord Jobs set forth with his engineers and brought forth the iPod. Whence upon release, the lord Jobs set the following Ten Commandments down:

1) Thou art to pay for thy iPhone
2) Thou art to pay for a contact too.
3) If thou an early adopter, thou art to be ripped off. And justly so.
4) Thou art not to unlock thy iPhone. Thou shalt be smited with the curse of iBrick.
5) Thou art to enjoy thy WiFi, thou thou may not have a 3G chipset
6) Thou shall not have MMS, EMS, but thou may have Visual Voicemail and e-mail client
7) Thou shall have a good Internet browser
8) Thou shall have a shiny screen which rotates happily
9) Thou Shall have thy iPhone with OS X 10.5, and thou mayest have thy own applications one day.
10) Thou may not replace thy battery, but thou mayest have an on screen keyboard and a single home button. AND THOU SHALT BE HAPPY!


For next, the word went to the Apple denzies. And they rejoiced. And they queued round the block for the device.

And lo. Unto the Americas the iPhone was sold.

And the citizens rejoiced (and hark! some did not. Something about not being sold in their territory)

Some even risked iBricking their phone.

But the Lord Jobs brought forth the iPhone to others beyond the Americas. And they deemed it good too. Suffice to say the iPhone, saviour of all arrived on Friday 09/11/07.

So endeth the first chapter of the Bible according to iPhone. (Apart from the £900 minimum it costs to own one over 18 months…. )

(and before you ask, no I didn't get one - I'm in the Nokia N95/HTC TyTN group - taken on the TyTN btw)

I'll give it this: it renders websites very well. But that's just Safari.

there's a few on demo..

Oh yes. they go horizontal too.

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Kevin Marshall 13 years, 7 months ago

£270 for the device... and £35 a month (£630 over the 18 month contract term) = £900 minimum spend.

13 years, 7 months ago Edited
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