#6 :: 01/06/10 :: True Friends

by Racheocity January. 06, 2010 191 views

Another fantastic day with Alli & Sam. Started at Borders, went to the other Borders, bought a piano book and a guitar book. Very excited to use them once I'm in college again.

However… I don't want to go back. Especially since Kenny is here. I got to see him today and…
I'm sure now.
I still love him.
A lot.
I really just wanted to be with him and hold him and never let go. He's so amazing and understanding. Even with what's been going on with us. It's unbelievable. That's really amazing and hard to find in a person. I've been really understanding and patient with him over the years, and it's being reciprocated. He's giving me the time I need, and being understanding about how I feel, and even being understanding that I'm friends with Xing. Wow. What an amazing person. I truly am blessed.

I still need this semester (or at least SOME time) to be single, and really work out my thoughts and feelings and get myself accustomed to the idea of being in a distance relationship again but… it's working out. I can feel it.

And it makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
(and sad, cause I don't get to see him- but mostly happy.)

So, back to today. Did more shopping with Sam & Alli, then went to Masterman to see play rehearsal.

All I could think about the whole time was how almost all the seniors (all but the ones who were… dedicated, but not talented) had parts. And how even almost all the underclassmen had parts. And about how come they didn't do a musical like this when I still went there, so maybe I could have had a moment to shine? And then, cynically, I thought something like even if I did still go there, I wouldn't get a part. It was awful. I was instantly brought back into my self-deprecating spiral. I didn't think it even bothered me this long after… but it does. Seeing them all dance and sing, I was like WTF. I definitely deserved a part. :sigh: We saw Sam Kopansky & Michele, which was nice =)

After that, we went to Ross, did some shopping in the gallery. I GOT GLOWSTICKS! A LOT OF THEM! and soap from bath & body works =D

Then Kenny picked me up and took me to mount airy to his house. Which was just beyond wonderful. First of all, I LOVE his family, and I got to see them =D. Even Lauren, who was on the phone with John. Which was funny. We talked, watched a video, played ping pong, then went to Wawa so I could get food. Then (on request), he played the guitar for me, I played a little, and then he drove me home. My… nose started bleeding. Which was embarrassing… but he ran back and got tissues for me (literally running to the car) which was very very sweet. THEN we drove home, talking about his psychology paper (VERY interesting). I got back and didn't want to let go. I don't know how to do this. I want him so badly which makes it hurt so much when I don't see him. augh. Well, as I said. Same resolution. I'll take some time off.

So right now, I need to go get ready to sleep, because I have a LOT of stuff to do tomorrow- pack, help mom with furniture, learn about my checkbook, then go downtown, go to dinner, and potentially see Kenny and… bake a cake? idk. I also was going to draw something for Xing, sort of an apology, who knows. I have A drawing, but it's not the best, I wanted to try again… but I need TIME to do that soo, we'll see.

Which means peace out, I'm going to sleep

“Would you guys mind if I just stopped and took a picture of the skyline? It’s too pretty with the sunset, I have to =)”

took many, took this one with them. It was a liiiittle too dark, but I made it work. It captures them very well.

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