my heart, my mind, my soul

by Stormfish December. 30, 2013 4952 views

these pictures i took a quarter of a century ago while staying for a couple of days in a small, electricity free guest house at the river quai, kanchanaburi, thailand.

i cannot explain why, but these couple of days hanging out on a lazy, warm river (which i remember you couldn't even swim in for safety reasons… i believe it was infested with alligators or some other natural hazard), doing nothing more but occasional walks to the local convenience store, the next fried rice providing street food place or just a general trip into the wilderness, where possibly one of the very few moments of pure bliss in my life.

i'm not saying this in some kind of nostalgia - them days will never come back, nor should they - or with senile glorification of events that were, in reality, much less enjoyable as i make them seem - i was aware of this exceptional bliss already while being there and ever after since these days; it never changed in my mind, it was just always THE MOMENT OF BLISS.

but i often think about what that means. why do i have such a “measure point” of happiness, why is it this particular place, this moment? i can't find any specific reason for it. it just was a gift. no meaning, no hidden message, no culmination point of former events nor the beginning of something new. it was just a couple of days i tremendously enjoyed passing by. they are burned vividly into my mind. until today, there are only a few events that ever came even close to the peace and fulfilment i felt there.

i am sure we all have these moments. they define us. i believe they are more important in life than personal upbringing, education, all the horrible things we had to endure until now and all the lovely, tear driving events that make our heart melt and our minds feel mushy. and we have PLENTY of such moments, every day - no matter how solemn we are or secluded we live.

because in the end, most of the time we just feel sentimental. we just “feel”; either bad or good, or even indifferent… but it's what humans do all the time: feeling “something” or other. we also tend to blow up emotionally all the signs of life that occur around us daily… both the nice and lovely things, as well as the annoying and spiteful. it's just more fun, isn't it? and if we wouldn't, your brains would simply explode, and that wouldn't look nice in the living room with all that splatter over the couch and wall paintings, would it?

but sentimentality isn't really leading anywhere. it just makes time go by. you could as much just calculate orbital trajectories of rockets or solve crossword puzzles, if you please. it's all fun and such… but it's nothing compared with the drive, the passion, the enthusiasm that derives from such defining moments in your life, like the one i tried to describe above.

so, ending the year 2013, i want to wish you all that one of these moments will happen in your life, or, if it already has happened, that you remember it and draw all the energy you need to survive the good and the bad that's coming at you for another year. i hope you will be able to look forward into the future from a stand point that has been formed by defining moments, that you will perceive yourself not as thrown around by the wind and weather of all the worries and sorrows we have deal with, but that you will see yourself rooted in, sourced and fed by such an experience; may it be spiritual, emotional or intellectual.

may the pixels be with you.

lizz wright [] sings the song that gave me the title for this blog entry

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Roxanne 5 years, 10 months ago

and also - when i first viewed this post, the quality of light and the color quality of these photos instantly made me think they are not digital. they "feel" different. :-)

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Roxanne 5 years, 10 months ago

yes thank you and may the pixels be with you. i understand this. i have had such a moment as this with no explanation. my first experience like the one you describe happened in death valley, 1993. in the parking lot of the gas station in stove pipe wells. i am certain you can picture it :-) un explainable brought on by nothing. and always remembered. and thank you for reminding me. happy new year. and may you have more moments such as this one.

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Teo Montana 5 years, 10 months ago

Your one of the lucky few who get to experience life without electricity,as I well know,some of my happiest moments took place in villages same. No electric,no phones,no cars,no problem!

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Jacki 5 years, 10 months ago

Well you get credit for the best New Year wish on PB... which I'm quite sure is meaningless to you, that I should think so... but having turned 60 I'm wondering if these moments will continue to happen, or if I'll recognize and appreciate them... I'm hopeful. :)

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Sara G 5 years, 10 months ago

Love all of these..great mood.

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Josy 5 years, 10 months ago

I love this "mood-set" !
Take time to succumb to the time and the place.
Be allowed invade by an invisible and magic vibration.
Be allowed educate and enchant with the atmosphere of the place, its thoughts (yes a place thinks and it's not you who take the place but the place who takes you) . The harmony between the place and one, without being able to define this relation
For me that's it the happiest moments of our life.

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Agnes Felber 5 years, 10 months ago

Thought provoking post, Michael!

5 years, 10 months ago Edited
Marilyn Grimble 5 years, 10 months ago

We were without electricity all over Christmas!
Somehow it didn't look or feel like your story!
Happy New Year - and stay well...
# 5 to my favs.
A truly enchanting set and strong, encouraging words from you.
Those defining moments always give strength and purpose to continue our struggle.

5 years, 10 months ago Edited