Tuesday, October 9

by Shweta Mishra October. 09, 2018 442 views

One of the most infuriating things you can hear from people is— ''MOVE ON! You need to let it go, people come and go...''

People are weird.
They're uncertain.
You. Me. All of us.


6th Sept, 2018

Kari and I had been chatting away, making plans to catch up. The next day (Sept 7th), she took her own life.

I knew she wasn't happy, and we were worried..never asked her if she was thinking of hurting herself..things seemed fine..she said she was fine, so I assumed she was..

2 weeks later--

I didn't know what was going on. We had to give a statement to the police, something that scared me. I thought people would think I was a terrible friend for not speaking out when I suspected she wasn't doing well in Gwalior.

I was mad at her for putting all of us in that situation. Why didn't she say something? I'd never faced anything like this, I didn't know if I could handle things on my own...I am having a million conversations with myself everyday and I really needed to get them out. Most of the time I think, I may spring this up on other people and that might affect them too..

To Kari--

I miss the roasting sessions, skipping mess meals to have maggie, mall hopping, dj nights in my room—I can never get over your dance. 'Adda Point sesh'. NCC camp days..love for the ball game...awwa days were the days.

Realizing I wouldn't get a chance to talk to you slowly killed me from inside..you shook me & society doesn’t recognize what a big deal friendship is..there are days when all of it seems unreal, Kari.

It took me a long time to picture the whole thing & to forgive you and myself too. Depression, anxiety..think i had all of that. Realized..it's gonna come and go..but things are okay as of now.

I regret not answering your call that day, wish I could have helped you change your mind. I wish I could have listened, Kari.

I'm looking at the moon, missing you..praying for you..I love you, with all my heart.

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