“That makes me, lucky.
God, I'm lucky, so much luckier than I ever thought I'd be.
Because what I have, means so very little to this world.
A promise that I kept, and a bridge that I saved before it burned.
The sacrifice that I made brought me to my knees.
A choice that cost me everything and set somebody else free
But what I have is the value that you see in these things.”
-Conjure One “extraordinary ways”
A pair of skinny jeans will do ya, with cheeky lipstick and runners modeled after a shooting star. The city is where people think they will be found. “Maybe if I wear this, maybe if I do this, maybe if I give my phone number, maybe if I look like I'm sex'd instead of loved…” Let's move to the city, sell my soul to Gucci; and my waistline and hunger pains to Guess; then auction my virtue to Coach; highest bidder gets my Conscience; and last, my opinion goes to Prada. I'll be the wealthiest woman in Vancouver with a shell of gold and a smile of diamonds, with kindness that could make a war criminal look compassionate- and a twenty dollar design on every toenail. See?- I'm valuable. Love me. Desire me. Lust for me.
Yeah, that sounds about right huh? What is the city filled with? It seems as though 80% is a group of individuals, who are quite keen on remaining individual, who are trying to find themselves and make themselves valuable. My postage stamp apartment is beautiful. I have a beautiful view. I'm trying to recall the last time I bought new clothing? I live in one of the wealthiest districts in Van, and am a little puzzled why I'm one of the few who are wearing holes in the soles of their shoes. Granted most people move within a year due to lack of funds…. I wonder what drives people to moral suffering so that they can please media and be the envy of strangers? I just don't understand. Well, let me rephrase that- I understand because I've taken enough social work and psychology- including worked in the field- to understand why they do this- however I do not understand the ultimate reward and/or value of this cost. It's great to have your ego stroked, no one can deny. There is a certain something to know that you fit in, belong to a pack, and are climbing the social latter (therefore represent success). But the cost- geez the cost- it's a little rich for me.
The other morning on my AM romp to JJ Bean I was unfortunate enough to share a coffee lineup with a Housewife of Vancouver. She exclaimed to the barista, “Do you know who I am? Guess! I'm a Canadian celebrity!” She proceeded to go on about her status. … I looked around the coffee shop…. A nearly homeless man in one corner, an analyst engrossed in his work in the other, a few business men and women occupying some bar seats, and myself and a young student waiting patiently for their regular cup of joe's. …. Who is she competing with? What is to gain? Is her self esteem so low that the need to achieve a higher ranking social status is this important so it will give her courage and confidence to continue with her day? I don't know. And honestly, I don't know what to think most of the time when things like this happen. I head for the closest exit route.
The city is a funny thing. It does strange things to people. Who you really are comes out. Because addictions and a variety of lifestyle's are at your feet, your ability and eagerness to choose happens quite quickly. So if you're into partying, yes, you will take this up immediately. If you're into health, go run the sea wall. If you're into drugs, guess what?- cocaine deals begin at 10pm almost every night down by the Opus. Like food? There's supper clubs on Davie and divine palette pleasers on Robson, W Georgia, Granville, Davie, and Beach. Whatever your poison, you can get it here. Can't afford to live down town? Great, you can share an 750sqft apartment with 3 other people. But consider yourself cultured, because most of them are here on working visa's.
Why am I here? Other than listing food as edible pornography and sultry dinners, I stay for convenience and location, location, location. No really, 1) Food 2) Location/Transit 3)Family. Today I discovered a Ukrainian deli, and guess what? I don't have to look like, dress like, sell anything, to go on in and ogle their homemade cabbage roles and imported slavic chocolate :)
Was this a rant? yeah. But don't worry, you don't have to have a smile of diamonds to read it ;) That's my 5 cents.
Bring me the city, sell me something pretty...
“That makes me, lucky.