Just. A. Mom.

by Tawanna Cullen January. 29, 2019 455 views
Sweet Love

Sweet Love

Motherhood from a personal perspective.

Motherhood is a strange twist of Love and Hurt. Its hard to describe because the two of them flip, twist and turn unpredictably.

When you have a tiny being forming inside of you, you love and you love deeply. Upon hearing the heartbeat, there is an overwhelming excitement that happens. There is a bond that happens that creates the very essence of a mother. You change. It's unexplained but it changes.

They kicked you and in the beginning, it’s a surprise like none other. It’s a sign that they are there! They are moving and alive. It is simply amazing. Each kick, move, hiccup is a sign that they are alive, moving and ok.

As the time grows closer to them being born, you are so excited, maybe so exhausted and just ready to see their precious face. Please just get here already!! Why? Because my body hurts and I just want to hold and love you already!!

It’s birthday!!! Welcome to the world little one! You are so precious and amazing! As a mother you imagine the best life ever with your new sweet love. Seriously, nothing is more precious than a new born. It’s a miracle. You’ve bonded with this little one. They need you. You are literally a life line to them.

Love so deep, you struggle throughout their infancy. Lack of sleep, worry about their milk, hoping nothing devastating happens. We all read the statistics about death of infants and are well aware, which creates paranoia…

We stumble through unsolicited advice. Here there and every where. We see the perfect well put together moms. We see the inside of comparison stealing our joy. She does it this way, but why doesn’t it work for me?

Rejoice when they walk and our hearts ache when they fall and have injuries.

We rejoice when they have milestones and cry when they don’t.

Enter the school years… What do I chose? Public, Private, or Home school? We study them and we know which one is good for our child. We know them like no other. We’ve seen them function in so many ways and our decision may be difficult but as a mother… we know.

Bullies, Grades and Sex ed Oh my! We go through it with them. A, B, C, D,… failing notifications come in. We help with homework, parent-teacher conferences, and attend all sorts of meetings, games, shows, and events, Yet some how we are excluded from so much. Who’s this? Why that? What in the world?! They are becoming their own person. It hurts to see them break away, yet we are excited to see them become independent.

Prom date, prom clothes, tickets, transportation, etc… we hope they make great decisions. Senior year, pictures, year book, event’s, decisions, decisions and more decisions…. We are either excluded or included. It’s gone so fast from heartbeat to graduation!

They are walking the stage. We rejoice with tears of joy. They made it! This is huge in this day and age. No school shooting, God bless all the parents who have lost their precious ones, No successful suicidal attempts, God bless all who have lost their precious ones.

College or No College has been the question… Opinions and Decisions. Which will they choose? Will they take your advice or the advice of another person? Love/Hurt continues to play.

Adulthood. Some of us have had it great, and some of us have had a difficult run of parenthood. Why do some have it easier than others? I don’t know. Maybe we will be great friends and the bond is great, maybe we have been polar opposites, maybe the bond is broken. Love/hurt continues to play.

Beyond… I don’t know. We hope and pray the best for our precious heartbeats where ever they are and still want them to make the best decisions. Our hearts have gone through love and hurt…

The best thing that we know as mothers broken hearted, or hearts fulfilled, maybe we are near or far from our precious ones…

One thing we know in Motherhood, Our Love always wins.

It’s always there. Love or Hurt, a Mother’s love is so deep, you will only know it when you become one.

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There are 2 comments , add yours!
Bethany Plonski 2 years, 3 months ago

Beautiful post! I'm not a mom, but I can tell your children are lucky to have you.

2 years, 3 months ago Edited
Tawanna Cullen Replied to Bethany Plonski 2 years, 3 months ago

Aww thank you so much!! This comment blesses my heart. I certainly try to be the best mom I can.

2 years, 3 months ago Edited
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