a pause

[feet don't want to move]

yesterday = 2nd driving lesson

i made the appointment early so i would have less time to stress.. standing on the porch.. i pause - or stall? the more i think about it, the more my nerves start to chew away at my empty stomach.. in all other areas of my life, i am a "fly by the seat of my pants" kinda girl.. always been a little risky and reckless.. i so HATE that this fear of driving is so heavy and intimidating and makes me feel so out of control of my own faculties.. so, the internal pep talks start., i force manic sherry down and try to calm myself beside the trees.. [hippie chick surfaces]

my fella has to drive me into town, 40 minutes away, and the car runs out of gas.. ha.. i partly think the universe is saving me from some impending doom.. and then i think to myself, i can't go thru life afraid of this, where is that crazy girl that lives inside me.. so i stick out my thumb and we hitch hike [that's something old sherry did a lot]

and

i drove with an instructor, for 2 hours.. outside my comfort zone, thru suburbia and onto a busy street, with lots of traffic and street lights and bridges [and lions and tigers and bears, oh my!]

and

i'm on my way.. slow and steady - i'm on my way..