it's 5am, woke up from a dream.. the setting: the homestead back in Canada.. my mum was still alive and she was filled with such vitality.. i know it's a dream then, because she never had that kind of energy in life..
i was late for somewhere, so i jumped in the shower right behind her.. but the tub water was draining slowly, so i was ankle deep in my mothers bath water [what's that mean freud?] and i'm in a dress.. showering in a dress? perhaps my modesty got the better of me, as the bathroom door was open..
i rush out the door to get to where i am going, but twilight is grainy, foggy and i can't find my way home.. home? [that grainy time of day like morning or night can't make up its mind and your eyes see all the particles in the air] i left the homestead, heading for MY home, and i couldn't find my way.. two girls stop and giggle at me.. they tell me to just punch in the gps coordinates on my phone.. but i don't have a smart phone.. they do.. they ask me what my address is.. and i don't know.. my brain scans every address i've lived at since leaving the homestead.. from Canada to New York.. i don't know where i was or where i was headed.. but i remember standing at a crossroads.. there was a street sign beside me.. Blanchard & Roosevelt.. [now to google earth, is this a real place?]
there is such a place.. in Wheaton, Illinois.. but the question is, why was i standing here, 900 miles away, at 5am this morning?